A Royal Trouncing - Part 3

© 1998 by Cresent Star



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Zoisite and Kunzite are sitting in front of the television, eating popcorn and watching in boredom a Keanu Reeves movie.

Z: Boy, this is rank.
K: He is kinda cute though.
Z: <frowns dangerously>
K: But he's nothing compared to you!
Z: <puts down the mallet he had been waving> (sarcastically) Hm, look at that intense expression on his face.
K: Yeah. <rolls eyes>

At that moment, the door bell rings.

K: Are you thinking what I'm thinking Zoisite?
Z: <groan> Don't tell me you want to take over the world...
K: No, the mail!
Z: <looks more attentive> Could it be?

Kunzite goes over and attends to the mail man. He comes back, staggering under the weight of a huge parcel.

K: <huff, huff, puff, puff.>
Z: What is it? <quickly tears of hundreds of layers of wrapping to find...> A miserable stack of papers?!
K: <Looks even more pissed off> Yeah and the person sending it neglected to pay the postage, I had to pay the postman...
Z: Look! The Venusian Masquerade!
K: Hm, then I think it was worth it... <evil smile>


The Venusian Masquerade

Z: And Mars Attacks!
K: Jupiter Rocks!

Disclaimer: All characters are property of Naoko Takeuchi 1992. If you aren't happy with that, too bad! Hahahaha!

Z (as Naoko Takeuchi): Boy, whoever it is, is going to get it...


Chapter 3

K (monotone): Wow, what a long wait...

*Where is she?* Makoto wondered. She had tried to find Marianna at the risk of displeasing the music master greatly.

K (as Makoto): <thinks for a few minutes> Ah, to hell with that old %#!#@...

However, she couldn't find a single trace of her and the last anyone had seen her was two hours ago. Worry began to creep over her.

Z: Like spiders.

She rounded the corner hurriedly, so hurriedly that she collided into Oliveiro.

K (as Oliveiro): Hello Nurse!

She dropped a curtsey and stuttered an apology.

"Sorry...sir.." she was blushing, she knew it. Normally she was very confident in her speech but now, she felt like she was falling apart. *Get a grip on yourself Mako* she muttered.

Z: What do you see in that guy anyway?

Oliveiro tried to hide a smile. This girl was interested in him, he could tell. Her youthful face rapidly turned redder. "And who are you looking for?" A little fun wouldn't hurt. Naru would never know.

K: <in shock> This is supposed to be wholesome family entertainment!
Z (as DiC dubber): Hm, I think we need to cut this bit...

"My friend," she went on to describe Marianna. He stopped her in midsentence.

K: How rude!

"Why search for her? She's a grown young woman, she doesn't need your interference in her affairs. Why not take a walk with me in the spring garden?" He grinned charmingly, "It's wonderful this time of year," he moved closer to her, "and this time of night."

Z: That is the most awful pick up line I've heard yet.

"Why, it's the same all year round."

"I know."

K (as Makoto): Then why did you say the obvious?!

* * *

"Sir, I'm cold," Marianna whispered.

Z (as Celano): Shut up you whiney little brat! I'm cold too! Count yourself lucky that I'm actually sharing my cape with you.

"Stop calling me 'sir'," he muttered. Not that he was being modest or such, but it was because he was really starting to become annoyed.

K: Ooh, you're a real gentleman, aren't you?

But having the shivering girl so close to him was a delicious feeling.

Z: Umm...tasty! Like...cherry!

It felt forbidden and exciting,

Z and K: Aaaaaaaauuuuggghhhh! Exciting?!

almost like betraying Minako. He held her closer to keep warm.

Marianna was thinking the same. *Oh my god... do you know who he is..?

K (as Marianna): Duh! Of course I know who he is! <slaps self>

That's the prince of _Venus_ who's holding you...* Her hands felt like ice and a morbid thought crept into her mind *You're going to die...*

Z: No you're not! Otherwise, there wouldn't be a plot.

Celano grasped her hand tightly, as if reading her thoughts plainly from her eyes, "No, we won't." he said softly. "We'll find a way out soon."

K: Like the last five hundred times you promised her Mina would come get you.

* * *

Makoto gazed up at the dark gentleman holding her arm. *This is wrong!

Z: Girl, this whole fanfic is wrong!

Naru would be so angry if she found out...* but she couldn't resist this man. His dark handsome features showed up in the blue light cast by the Earth. The voluminous brown hair, the eyes blue as the sky...

Z: I think I'm going to puke if I hear the author appraise Nephrite's looks one more time...
K: I agree.

Oliveiro pretended to be oblivious of her adoring gaze. She was such an easy one to hook!

K: Boo! Playboy!

But he had to admit that he was mutually attracted to her, unlike the others.

Z: There were *others*?!

There was something very special about her. Naru, was rather plain and school girl like, not much to his liking. He prefered more mature looking women like

K: Pamela Anderson

this...Makoto. Unfortunately, their wedding had been prearranged by their parents.

K (as Ranma/Oliveiro): Kawaiikune!
Z (as Akane/Naru): Baka!

He had protested against it, but to no avail. Naru didn't seem to mind of course, she was more than glad to have this handsome fellow as a husband.

Z: So much for Naru's taste in guys.

Come to think of it, he had now come to hate her.

K: Ooh! The author is skating on thin ice where Naru+Nephrite fans are concerned...

She was so annoying, with that ill sounding accent.

Z (as Naru with ill accent): Oh Awliveyaroooo!

Innocent, naive, never thinking that her husband to be would betray her almost every night of the week.

Z and K: Gasp!
Z: I think I've found out much more than I want to ever know about Nephrite's sex life...
K: <looks ill>

Enough, he told himself, don't think of her and enjoy yourself.

Z and K: Auugh!
K: <faints>
Z: Man, are you okay?!

Makoto is beautiful and you are going to enjoy that beauty. Do not let thoughts of Naru ruin it!

Domenico and Rei were still wandering about the garden, not so much as appreciating the flowers but each others' company.

K (recovered): Time out! Time out! The author is getting horny!

Oliveiro grinned to himself, finally beginning to realize the humor in Endymion's prank.

Z: Neffy, you are one sick puppy.

He gave Makoto a little wink. "Stay here. I want to go talk to them for a little while. Don't leave while I'm gone."

"I won't."

K (as Makoto): <winks seductively> Not for the world, baby...

Domenico felt a hand on his shoulder. He and Rei turned to face the intrusion on their privacy. "Hello Oliveiro," he said in greeting, a bit of coldness touching his tone. Rei blushed, her face tightening in suppression of her anger.

Z: Somebody is getting mad...

Oliveiro grinned cheerily. "So, how was it in the ice box? I expect you enjoyed yourselves, hmmm?"

K: That's it - the author is getting out of hand here!

A bit of confusion came over both their faces as they looked at each other. Had Oliveiro gone a little mad?

Z: You only realized that now?

Oliveiro grinned

K: Like a maniac.

still as if nothing would take the disturbing smile off his face. Domenico frowned deeply in contrast. "What are you talking about Olivero? What ice box?"

K: An ice box is slang for a refrigerator, airhead!

"Is this your idea of a joke?" Rei asked heatedly. "If it is I don't think I find it very funny."

Z: And like, that was obvious...

She crossed her arms. "But knowing your sense of humor, you'd probably be very happy to know that your friend Celano is missing."

K (as Oliveiro): Friend? Since when was he my friend?

"What?" It was his turn to look confused. Hadn't Endymion said he locked them both in the winter garden? "But...but..."

Rei was not to be stopped, "I think you are really an uncouth creature! Challenging Celano like that! He did nothing to you that night!" Domenico held her arm, as if restraining her.

Z (as Domenico): Back, Killer! Down, Killer!

"Be quiet, Rei," he said sternly, determined to clear whatever misunderstanding there was up. Rei glared back at him. "Please," he added.

K: <shaking head> Not a good sign. He's already acting like a henpecked husband.

"Now," he said, turning back to Oliveiro. "What is going on?"

Z: You're asking me!

Oliveiro knitted his brow. "Endymion said you were in the winter garden and decided to lock you in there for the fun of it."

Domenico frowned even more deeply. "Celano has been missing..." He looked up, panic on his face. Realization too, sank into Rei. "Get Endymion, now! This isn't a joke anymore."

Z and K: Hahahahahahahahah!
Z: I found it hilarious!
K: You found what hilarious?
Z: I don't know! Hahahaha!

At that moment, Makoto walked up to them. "Prince Oliveiro? Where were you?" Rei raised her eyebrows. However Domenico seemed in a hurry to Oliveiro, though why, he could not tell.

K: <shriek> Get a clue!

He turned curtly to go. Oliveiro grabbed his arm. "You saw nothing," he hissed.

Z(as Domenico): Ha! I saw you! I saw you! I'm going to tell! I'm going to tell!
K(as Oliveiro): Stupid tattle tail!

Domenico shrugged his hand off. "I have more important things to do right now.

K: I'll say. <leer>

Come, Rei, before it is too late."

Z: He's asking her to 'come'? Oh dear...

Makoto watched in confusion. "What's going on?"

"Nothing is going on." Makoto stiffened at the harshness of his words, but continued to walk with him.

Z: Don't you just love those little stars the author puts before a scene change?

* * *

"Domenico," Rei whispered, looking at the forbidding door. Endymion and Minako were there, Minako looking anxious and Endymion looking guilty. He had totally forgotten about the two and now that he had made the grave mistake...

K: Um, wait a minute, he deduced that Celano was locked in the winter garden just by participating in the confusing dialogue above? Hm...

Domenico lifted the wooden bar that Endymion had placed across the door. "You'd better be sorry for this," he growled. Inside was a white wonderland. But nobody had the time to admire its splendor.

Z: Look! The way the ice hangs down that way...
K: Yeah, real pretty huh?
Z: I guess the rescue operation has to wait while we admire the splendor of the winter garden huh?
K: Some things are just more important.

They started to sift through the snow in search for the lost one.

Minako shrieked, dropping in by a large mound of snow. She scrabbled desperately at the packed white powder.

Z: Then she sneezed because she just found out she was allergic to snow.

The others crowded around her, digging furiously. "Please be alive..." Minako pleaded audibly. A few minutes later they had unearthed two cold, unmoving bodies.

K: I know... they're not dead.

Rei stared in horror... could they be... dead?

Z: Oh, the suspense.

Domenico, seeing how every one had been struck dumb, quickly took charge. "Endymion, Minako, you help Celano. Rei, come help me with this girl." Heaving the limp bodies, they struggled to the door. Minako, her concern giving her an almost inhuman strength plunged toward the door, reaching it first.

K: And we have Minako the Wonder Woman!

"Come on, let's get them somewhere warm, fast." Rei took their pulses. A faint throbbing relieved her. "They're still alive." Minako sobbed, her relief washing over her.

Z: Like a tidal wave, drenching her from head to toe.

Domenico looked at Endymion angrily, his eyes narrowing. "I do hope your are happy, little prince. Your prank nearly proved fatal. It didn't, but what of the next time?"

K (as Endy): I could always hope couldn't I?

Endymion mumbled an apology, looking away. Now he knew why he had mistaken the two for Domenico and Rei. He had thought Celano was Domenico because he had never really seen him enter. Just heard him. And the girl was wearing such a similar red dress as Rei. It was easy to have made the mistake.

Z: Well, not for normal people, you're just the exception.

Domenico wasn't done yet. "What's more, this set up was meant for me and Rei. Have you ever stopped to think of the consequences?

K (as Endy): <Grinning like a psycho> Yeah, that was the point!

And with me and Rei, people would think we were in our bed chambers,"

Z: I'm beginning to see what you meant about the author getting horny, dear.

he said bluntly, ignoring Rei's gasp of embarassment. "We could have died! What were you thinking, you stupid fool?"

K: Ahem, that's redundant.

He was working himself into a rage.

"Damnit, I said I was sorry! What more do you want?! For me to kneel and beg forgiveness?!" Endymion asked, his own anger boiling over. "Fine, if that is what you want!" He dropped to his knees.

Z and K: <speechless>
Z: Did he really just do that?
K: No, just the author's sick imagination.

Domenico stopped in surprise. He had not expected that from the prince.

Z: Of course, he had not expected the joke snakes in his can of peanut pretzels either.

Minako, who had been quiet for so long, finally said raggedly, "Please, get up, don't do this, Endymion." Endymion stood as bid, his cheeks flaming. Saying nothing, he walked out of the room, his head held high.

Z and K (singing K D Lang): Gonna walk away from trouble with my head held high...

Rei put a hand on Domenico's shoulder. "Perhaps... you went a little too far there." He shook his head wordlessly. He looked down in concern at the unconcious two. "No time for that. Get a healer, Rei."

Z (as Rei): Oh, so it's 'get a healer, Rei'. What happened to 'get a healer *please*, Rei?'

* * *

Makoto smiled. The corridors of the palace was deserted, nearly every one was asleep.

K: Like us if this fanfic doesn't quit dawdling and cut to the chase.

Oliveiro smiled at her, his eyes almost glowing. "Goodnight Mako..." he bent forward.

*He's going to kiss me!* Makoto thought excitedly. She closed her eyes. That was the way to do it.

Z: Well actually... <grabs Kunzite and kisses him long>
K: That's the way to do it!

At the last moment, he drew back, another kind of smile colouring his lips. "No, Naru wouldn't be pleased if she saw us like this."

Z: There you go again, stating the obvious.
K: Maybe it's cos the author can't think of anything else for him to say.

Makoto looked disappointed as he turned and headed in the opposite direction. "See you tomorrow," he called. He waved to her while walking away.

Only then did she realize what she had gotten herself into.

Z: Damn, knew this dress would turn him off!

The End of Chapter 3

K: Yes!
Z: It's over... for now!

The End of Part 3 - Goto Part 4


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Disclaimer: Sailormoon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha and Toei Animation. All characters, settings etc. are used without permission. This is an amateur fiction, and I definitely won't make any money of it.


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