Voices Inside My Head


© 2000 by dalles

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"I don't understand," Anatase said, her brow furrowed. "They said they would meet us here at 2am in this room. They said the gate would already be opened... We have the information we need- nd I know the monarch is on to us... I do not understand why they would fail us now!" She ran her hands through her long honey brown hair, undoing the braid that once bound it.

"Don't worry, they'll show." Kyanite replied blandly. He eyed the old grandfather clock against the wall; it read 2:37 am. The sun would be rising in a few hours and once again this wing of the castle would become active.

"We shouldn't have stayed around for that stupid ball...should have grabbed the documents and left." Kyanite muttered, pulling at his shirt collar.

"Oh come now, it wasn't that bad." She said waving her hand. "I don't even think they noticed if we were there or even if we left."

"Exactly- we shouldn't have gone." Kyanite snapped. He looked up at her. "...I just can't wait till its over, I haven't got the nerves for espionage."

"This is just your first mission, you'll get used to it- even learn to enjoy it. I obviously think you're skilled enough, or you wouldn't have joined me here."

"I wasn't trained to spy. I was trained to fight. Hell, you trained me in hand to hand combat and swordsmanship- you of all people should know that!" He corrected, running his hands over his pale face. She cocked her head at him and gave him a flat smile. Anatase's blue eyes darted to the clock.

"I really don't like this." Her face turned to a frown. "They would have at least sent an eye to scout out the room, to make sure we were present."

"There has to be a good reason, Kunzite and the others know what they're doing ...Maybe we should try and open a gate ourselves? We have enough energy combined." Kyanite suggested, standing up from the old armchair.

"No, It wouldn't work. There are to many threads running through the castle. They would detect it the second we began to pool our energy. Outside we might have a chance without being detected, but still a slim one regardless."

"Then lets go already."

"No." She replied. "They said they would come for us, and I believe them."

"Maybe so, but we can't wait for too long or else somebody is going to find us out- and then there will be an even bigger set of problems for us."

"Shhh!" She hushed.


"Footsteps." She whispered. Kyanite closed his eyes and concentrated. Indeed there was someone or something coming down the hall. Anatase always had a sharper skill of sensing things than Kyanite, or any other agent to the Dark Kingdom for that matter.

"I'll check it out." He whispered, "I hate waiting anyway."


"Why not?"

"There's no sense in getting separated." Anatase replied as she examined an old bookshelf littered with volumes of books on Earth and Moon history.

"What if they're coming this way? What if they're guards, what if they come and inspect this room and find us here. Do you honestly think that they'll believe that we're just 'relaxing' in and old wing of the castle were most aren't even allowed to go?"

The two stood in silence for a moment.

"The gate isn't coming." Kyanite said in a soft tone. "They're never late, it's either on time or not at all. It must not be safe in here...I don't know why they picked the interior of the most well-guarded castle in the Three-Kingdoms..."

"I know, but I just wanted to believe, for a moment..."

Anatase trailed off.

"Believe what?" Kyanite asked.

"Oh, nothing..."

Could Anatase mean what he thought that- no... their Queen would never do that to them, this mission was real, just as their way out of the castle wasn't there.

The two stood in silence again.

"We'll try what you suggested, opening it from outside." Anatase said finally. "I'll find a discreet way to get us outside. Just make sure whoever is making all the noise in the corridor won't be a problem. Meet me back here in ten minutes." Anatase said in a low, but strong voice.

"Be careful, and hurry, please." She added.

Kyanite put up his hand to stop her.

"I'll be back in a minute, you won't even notice that I've gone." He sent back before slipping into the corridor. He began walking slowly down the empty, dimly lit hallway and paused momentarily.

Something felt off.

He couldn't coin the emotion, but he didn't like it ...It felt strange leaving Anatase to find the fastest way out of the wing by herself. He knew she could more than handle it, but still, there was something strange that came over him...

"Nerves!" He whispered harshly, shaking his head for a moment. He took a left and began cautiously walking down the hall. It was a nice place, the castle. A shame it would be flattened in days.

He continued walking for a ways, before deciding that whomever Anatase had heard clearly wasn't coming from this end. He paused a moment to look at a picture hanging on the wall. A thick paint had been used on it; though it had sweeping strokes that seemed to flow together at times it was still painted with intricate detail. It was a portrait of a young girl. She had long brown hair and a frail build. She stood there with a sad expression on her face holding a wilted bouquet of flowers. The background was simple gray with pale blue hues that faded through it.

What a strange picture to see in the palace.

For some reason though, he felt sorry for the girl in the picture. She wasn't real, but it seemed as though she spoke to him.

Kyanite made a mental note to grab the painting when the palace would be attacked soon. As petty as it seemed, everyone would be looting something here.

Kyanite turned back around and continued walking in the other direction. He passed the small room that he had left, and continued on, down the corridor to the right. He didn't pass Anatase down either direction, she must have slipped out when he had his back to the door, or she had already found an exit and was waiting for him.

About to turn around and return, six palace guards marched around the corner and stopped him. They were all fairly non-descript, except the two who headed the pack. One had short golden curly hair, and the other- apparently the squad leader, had long hair confined to a ponytail the color of silver, but with a young face. His eyes were unfeeling, cold as stone. It reminded him of someone.

"Lord Kyan," The curly-hair one spoke. "For what reason are you in the East wing of the palace?"

"I am lost. In which direction is my room?"

One of the other guards eyeballed him for a moment.

"Where is Lady Anatase?" He spoke.

"We were separated. She's probably back at our room." He replied quickly, dropping a hint.

He stood there silent for a moment, while two of the guards in command conversed amongst themselves. Kyanite tried to eavesdrop, but they spoke in a tongue that was not familiar to him, likely one only the army knew.

It seemed as though they talked forever.

"Continue straight and turn right at the statue- you should know where you are when you arrive." The curly-hair guard finally answered. The squad captain remained silent, which bothered Kyanite, and made him feel even more anxious.

"Thank you." He replied bitterly before marching off, but before he could slip around the corner, and run back, one of the guards grabbed his arm.

"What?" Kyanite spat.

"Forgive me Lord, but we must search you, some vital documents have become missing and we fear the worst." The guard began to frisk him gently, padding down his jacket pockets. Another guard spoke up.

"Have you noticed anything odd in this wing of the castle recently?"

And still the captain was silent.

Kyanite would have figured he would have inquired about something of this importance; either issues.

"No, it has been perfectly quiet while I have been wandering about looking for someone. Despite its desertion, it is a delightful area- why?"

"Oh, we've had reports that this is the location of a spy from the Dark Kingdom- its probably nothing, ever since the monarch of Earth had lost four of their commanding guards a little over a year ago everyone seems to be a little more paranoid than usual."

"Well if I seen anything I will inform someone immediately. Now I must return to my room. I'm sure it is just nothing; this is the Moon Kingdom." Kyanite replied and marched off in the direction pointed to. Really, the first corner he came to he darted around and sprinted back towards the room in which Anatase was waiting.

He continued down the long corridor, running with large strides. Kyanite did not realize how far he had strayed. He darted around another corner leading to his room. He stopped short, almost falling over. Kyanite quickly slipped back behind the corner.

Two palace guards stood at the doorway; obviously guarding it's contents.

God no! He thought bitterly. They couldn't have found her...they couldn't of! She's too skilled to be found out! It should have been me.

Part of him wanted to rush the guards, but part of him wanted to turn around and run; saving himself and some of the knowledge that the documents held.

But that was the cowards way, and he wasn't one anymore.

He glanced back around at the guards- he could kill them in a second, but what about the others probably inside, could he take them on if Anatase was injured?

Deciding that it was a chance he would have to take, he stepped back out into the hallway and sent a frigid blast of air at them, freezing one where he stood. The second guard caught the blast coming at him from the corner of his eye, and ducked out of the way to have a frozen stretch of wall take his place.

Kyanite swore and drew his sabre. The guard was still on the ground so Kyanite just rushed him. That was never usually a smart tactic to initiate, but the guard was still just as stupid and Kyanite didn't have any time to waste.

The guard fumbled to draw his own weapon, but couldn't fast enough before Kyanite was on top of him. So instead he rolled to the side, and managed to get to his feet where his sword could be drawn with more ease.

Kyanite swore again. So the guard wasn't as dumb as he looked.

Kyanite rushed him again. He still didn't have any time for games. He slashed at the shocked guard repeatedly as he made a few feeble attempts to parry Kyanite's advances. Eventually Kyanite backed the fool into a wall and ran the man through before he could even register that there was a wall in his way and that he was about to die.

Kyanite wiped the blood off of his sword onto his dark breeches; he didn't bother to re-sheath it, since it would be undoubtedly used before the night ended.

Kyanite's eyes darted to the floor for a moment. There were droplets of blood leading down the hallway like a breadcrumb trail to Anatase. The door was slightly ajar and a smeared bloody handprint lay on half the knob. Kyanite nudged the door open with his foot and looked in.

A rather violent struggle had taken place.

Most of the chairs lay sideways on the floor, a small table had been broken, the grandfather clock had been broken, most of the books on the shelf and been thrown to the floor, blood coated almost everything it seemed... the sick stench of blood.

It looked more as if someone was searching for something than if Anatase was attacked in here. Then Kyanite's blood ran cold.

Had the gate opened? Had they finally come for them only to find the room empty? Had a youma been sent through to look for the papers regardless of Kyanite and Anatase's absence? Had he interrupted a guard and killed him silently, then dragged him back into the blackened void leaving the two to fend for themselves?


The Kingdom would never abandon them like this. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Anatase must have put up a nasty fight when they found her. And when they couldn't find the papers on her, they assumed they were in the room and turned it upside down, and now Anatase was being dragged to who-knows-what in the palace dungeon until they got them from her.

Kyanite couldn't waste his thoughts on that any longer though, Anatase was still alive- she had to be and Kyanite couldn't do that to her- just leave her there to suffer a pain no one should ever endure, to die at the hands of the light.

How he hated the light. How they all hated it.

No, he couldn't do that to her. To his commander, to the one he respected the most, to the one he loved so dearly...

But that would come later- it didn't matter right now.

Kyanite re-sheathed his sword and ran back down the hallway, past the bloody handprint, past the frozen statue of a man, past the guard dying on the floor, past all of that following the trail of blood; Anatase's blood.

He couldn't have been running for very long, but it seemed forever. Kyanite didn't want to think of how he was to rescue Anatase, get the documents and find a way out of the palace before the guard would flood the castle looking for them. He had time for possibly one, but three-

Kyanite bolted around another corner to find what he was looking for, but not what he wanted to see...

There was Anatase, and three other guards- two regular ones and the one who seemed to be in charge of the now broken squad. Anatase was bleeding badly from the side and her head. She was struggling with the two that held her arms rather aggressively.

Then, suddenly, she broke free. Not wasting a moment with the newfound joy, she elbowed the guard hard in the gut, grabbed the dagger from his side, and stabbed him with it fluently all within half a second's time. The man choked on his blood and fell to the floor clutching his wound protectively. She broke out of the other guards grip and slashed at the guard with it. The man danced backwards tripping on his own feet and conveniently hitting his head on a nearby table as he fell to the ground. Blood stained the floor around his swelling head; his eyes fluttered closed and his breaths became short and erratic. Anatase did not bother to mourn over the misfortune of the unknown man. She readied the blade in her tense fingers and eyed the captain like prey she was hunting. Kyanite loved that crazed look in her eye. The captain looked back at her with an amused smile- a smile and look that only said that he knew something she did not. And then Kyanite realized what that was. The captain had a dagger sheath strapped to his boot from which he drew the most deadly weapon against an agent to the Dark Kingdom.

That dagger...oh, how the light was so very poisonous to anyone that befell it's cruel wrath. The weapon was simple enough, only about a foot long and had a tarnished pewter handle. But the blade... how it shone the purity of the light in it's near white finish. How painful that purity was...

The captains faded eyes glistened within the daggers ambient glow.

Though Anatase's back was to Kyanite, he all to well knew the look in her eye. It was the acceptance of a challenge- the challenge of that light. Kyanite wanted to help her, he had stood around long enough. He moved to run to the two, but froze. His arms felt numb, his legs remained locked and heart pumped with a terrible fear.

It was all because of that dagger the captain held.

How Kyanite hated it.

Anatase and the captain began to fight before Kyanite's distant eyes. It was like a ballet unfolding before himself- the two, moving back and forth, attacking and defending all with fluid motions. Until one motion stopped it all.

Anatase had left her side open in one bold attempt to stab the captain, and he instead, had stabbed her.

There was no dramatic burst of light, no transformation, no angels sang at the death of an agent, no dimensional shift, no re-birth of a former queen. The captain simply thrust the blade into her chest, causing blood to spurt forth from the opening.

Anatase did not scream; nor did she cry- only sad whimper left her lips and she crumpled to the floor, clutching her gushing wound as her life slipped away.

Kyanite blinked, re-processing the scene before him again. Anatase was going to die. Anatase was going to die. Anatase was going to die. Anatase was going to die. Anatase was going to die.........and it was all his fault.

And Kyanite screamed.

He didn't bother to draw his sword, or call forth any magical wards to protect himself, or even use his powers against the captain. Kyanite ran at him with full force, jumped him and strangled him with his bare hands. He didn't kill the silver haired man; how he wanted to, but he didn't have enough time. He left him unconscious on the floor, limp, but still alive.

Kyanite darted back over to Anatase's bloody form and knelt down beside her gently.

"Anatase," he said quietly, shaking her body trying to wake her from the lifeless gaze she held in her eyes. "Anatase...wake up...we have to get out of here...there is no time...Anatase?" Kyanite continued to shake her. It was all in vain, he knew that all to well, but he couldn't grasp the fact that she was killed before his very eyes and he had done nothing... she couldn't be dead, not now, not after everything.

Not on his hands.

And then Anatase stirred. She moaned and coughed up blood all over her pale lavender gown. She moved her head around flaccidly as she tried to assess her surroundings and that the creature beside her was familiar.

"Anatase," Kyanite pushed again. "We have to go...you have to get up." He began pulling on her body, trying to get her to rise up on her feet. Anatase could not feel her body anymore, only the churning pain of the wound inside of her.

"No." She mumbled as Kyanite tried to raise her again. "No. I cannot go... it is too late for me. Save yourself. And the documents... that's all that matters now..."

Kyanite stared at her in disbelief. Or maybe it was shock at the fact that she thought he would actually leave her here to die in the enemy's hallway as a hundred troops tore through the wing searching for them.

"I can't. I can't let you die, your not supposed to...it should have been me..."

"Kyanite." She snapped hoarsely. "The documents are in the clock; behind the pendulum in the casing. Get them now. I don't think the guard would ever look there-"

Distant footsteps and yelling could now be heard.

"Go." She continued. 'Please, just go..." Anatase broke out into a violent coughing fit that undoubtedly betrayed their location further.

"Anatase please, don't do this...to me."

She looked up into his navy eyes with a pained expression. It was not from the gash in her chest. It was from something else.

"There is still so much you must do for the Kingdom..." He said. "So much I want to tell you..."

The footsteps grew louder.

"...So much more we can accomplish..."

He heard the voices clearer now.

"Down that way-"

"Did you check that room?-"

"The traitors cannot have gotten far-"

Kyanite did not continue his meager attempt to pour out his heart to the woman before him. He sighed and looked down into her eyes, stroking her forehead gently.

"Good-bye" He whispered and kissed her head softly. Anatase did not respond. Anatase did not even stir. Kyanite could not bear to find the answer to that question. He lay her head down gently and ran back down the hall as fast as he could.

Kyanite hid in rooms, slinked down hallways, attacked a few guards to get back to the room where the documents lay. He found them and snuck back out; towards the stairs; to a lower level with a window from which he could leave; to an escape- an escape without his commander, without Anatase. He could not consider thinking about her now; he could not deal with leaving another behind at the hands of the Moon Kingdom; at the hands of those he hated most.

He could not think about that at all.

He could not think about that he had done that to Anatase.

To the one he loved.

No...he would think about that later.

End of Prelude - Goto Tale

Author's Note:

Sailormoon is copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi. Remember, not for profit ^.^

Email: dalles_@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/threads

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Disclaimer: Sailormoon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha and Toei Animation. All characters, settings etc. are used without permission. This is an amateur fiction, and I definitely won't make any money of it.

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