Echoes of What You Said

The Tale

© 2000 by dalles


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Kyanite peered into his empty wineglass and sighed. Even though it had been a week since she was gone, one would think you would feel better, not worse. On a place called Earth people were given the rest of their life to mourn over the dead; but this was the Dark Kingdom and a week was more than enough.

He emptied the decanter into the glass and downed it- savoring the intoxicating effect that washed over him. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, fighting the pain of memories. Over and over again, Anatase's death repeated itself in his head. He had tried to ignore the guilt of what he had done, but he couldn't forever.

He opened eyes again as tears began to grow. He leaned against the back of his chair and stared up at the ceiling, lost.

She didn't deserve to die the way she did... it should have been me. The thought tore through his mind. He tried to ignore those words, but every time he heard her name, saw her picture, was anyway reminded of her ... that guilt soon followed.

His fingers gripped the edge of the desk he sat at; the white gloves he wore wearing thin under the stress. He couldn't live like this forever. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to go back and fix everything ... so she could be alive. So the attack on the moon kingdom would have proceeded as scheduled... so she wouldn't have died in vain. That was what gnawed at him the most. If they had taken a better set of documents, if they had bothered to crack open the safe, maybe something better would have been found. But no, he had failed in his mission, and instead attacking the Moon Kingdom as was planned, he was sitting in his room, racked with misery and guilt, and Anatase lay somewhere on the moon, dead. The image of her lying upon the floor, her blood staining her pale dress and the carpeting, and even Kyanite's own hands ...

"Shut up!" He yelled aloud suddenly, startling himself into a standing position and knocking his chair over. His heart pounded, his face dripped of sweat, his eyes blood shot and red. Kyanite stood there for moment, and strugged to stay upright beneath his weak legs. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, deeply, running his hands through his black hair. It began to curl a little under the humidity of his room. Anatase had always liked the short length it rested at; she had said it gave character to such a pale, uninterested face.

Anatase.

I left her to die...

Kyanite walked over to his bed and sat down, yanking off his boots and undoing the buttons on his uniform coat.

Sleep. He needed sleep.

He lay his head down on the pillow and gazed lazily at the wall. Kunzite had always told him to be strong, never to let your opponents know your weakness. Gods, he should speak for himself. All the subtle hints about he and Zoisite sneaking around was ridiculous. But in the end he was right, he should have heeded the words of the most powerful king with a little more caution- but it was no time for regrets...some regrets. He closed his eyes and let the welcoming arms of sleep take him. But only for a moment were his thoughts peaceful, in another he was reminded of that pale form on the floor, surrounded by blood, blood that stained everything around, blood that stained his hands... He tried to open his eyes but couldn't. Kyanite couldn't suppress these memories forever; they would always return to remind him of what he had done. He let the images come, hesitantly at first, but then they washed over him, covering his mind, covering his soul.

And so he welcomed them.

* * *

Kyanite was now back on duty, he had spent more than enough time mourning over the death of his mentor and was required to continue his services to his Kingdom. The Queen wanted to meet with himself and Kunzaito-sama the next day in her hall. Kyanite had an inkling as to what the audience concerned. He didn't like it; he didn't want to be trained by another. His training was nearly completed by Anatase, he did not want to learn from another. Anatase was the only one he could have ever learned from, but now it was too late. He should accept his fate now, rather than whine about it and face the consequences for his insolence.

He didn't want to, but he had to. He still wasn't over what he had done that night one week ago. She had told him to leave, but he knew she didn't want him to. He should never have left her to die.

All alone.

To die, on the palace floor, her blood staining the carpeting, her dress, her pale skin, Kyanite's hands...

Then Kyanite heard a voice.

A name.

Calling to him. "Kyanite..." It whispered. "Kyanite."

Kyanite's eyes shot up sharply, darting from side to side of his room quickly trying to identify where the sound came from. He saw nothing. Was the Queen playing a trick on him? Testing his obedience? His loyalty?

"Kyanite, you foolish boy...this power is beyond hers. You're so na´ve, there is more than what you see before you. More than what you see with your eyes."

Kyanite clenched his jaw, but still refused to turn his head to see if he could identify the source of the voice. It was all his imagination, it did not exist...it couldn't.

"Don't be nervous, darling. There's nothing to be worried about."

Kyanite tapped his hand against his leg.

"Kyanite...why don't you answer me?" It asked, disappointment tinting the words.

"Because...you are not real..." He said so quietly he could hardly even hear the words he said.

"But I am...talk to me without fear...I can hear your thoughts...talk to me all that you desire and I will hear you."

Kyanite hesitated a moment. You hear my thoughts?

"Yes."

Who are you?

"You will know in time."

Why are you here, why do you speak to me? Kyanite continued, not processing his unanswered question in time.

"I have to be here with you. There are things you must know, things I must help you with, things you must see, must understand."

What?

"You will understand in time."

Those words said; Kyanite did not like the sound of them, even though they were meant to help him.

Who are you? What are you? You never answered me! He asked suddenly. The voice was silent for a moment.

"I was the second King to the army of the Dark Kingdom,"

Kyanite breathed in sharply at its words.

"Mentor to you, Kyanite..."

"No..." Kyanite moaned silently. He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't.

"The object of your affection..."

"No!" He called out. "You can't be real...you just can't." He sobbed, grabbing his head in pain of what she was saying. What he was realizing. What he would be reminded of.

"I am Anatase."

* * *

The Queens' words echoed through her hall as Kyanite stood before her- her empty words running through him like everything else for the past three days. He looked up at her with both fear and respect, but behind the shell, his mind wandered.

He could not forget what happened the night before...he could not forget that Anatase had come and spoke with him. He would never forget what had happened, but he also knew that it must have been a nightmare, brought on by the stress of losing his mentor. Only stress, and nothing more.

Kyanite felt his posture diminishing from his lack of concentration towards Queen Beryl and adjusted it quickly before she sent him "below" for his disrespect.

The he heard a summon, and his blood ran a little cold.

"Kyanite."

...Yes?

"I am real, don't you see."

Hesitantly Kyanite responded.

Yes...but this is all too strange.

"You do not believe me?"

I do not know...I do not know what to believe anymore.

"Please believe me...I am real. I will prove it to you in time enough."

Trying to disregard the voice, Kyanite redirected his attention back to his Queen.

"We both know that you do not care what she says...you never have."

I think it's best if I start to now.

Kyanite heard Anatase chuckle.

"Oh Kyanite, dear, you haven't changed at all."

Kyanite was without a response, and he still paid little attention to his Queen.

"Training starts again." She said. "But fear not beloved, I will be with you now... perhaps you should leave, the Queen, she looks at you strangely..."

Kyanite put his thoughts aside for a moment and looked up at his Queen, she looked down at him expectantly.

"Very well my Queen, I will proceed at once." He replied unsure.

"And I thank you for your generosity."

"And I thank you for you generosity." He added before teleported to the training area. The Queen drummed her fingers as her eyes narrowed into small slits.

"Kunzite," She called, shooting Kunzite Kyanite's intended look.

"Yes, Queen Beryl-sama."

"Keep an eye on him. Ever since that little incident he has been acting stranger and stranger. Be sure his disrespects me no further- he is a good warrior and dare not seem him spoiled yet. He will be punished next time he presents a display as he did now. Make that painfully aware for him."

"As you wish my liege. If he is to fail, shall Zoisite be replacing him?" He replied.

"He will not fail. And if the case may be that, you shall die trying." She threatened sending Kunzite a warning. He breathed in deeply praying that Kyanite's erratic behavior would tone down soon.

* * *

Kyanite circled the training area, drinking in his surroundings vengefully. He hated every inch of that room. All the memories of being beaten badly by youma. All the memories of failing, and all the memories of the arguments he would have with Anatase. He was a skilled fighter now, but the cost at which to reach his level still upset him. Frustrated, he kicked a rack of swords- knocking some to the floor.

"And what did those swords do to you?" Kunzite asked snidely. Kyanite spun around to see Kunzite levitating in the middle of the room.

"Well then," Kyanite said smiling. "Let's begin."

Kyanite bent down and picked up a sword. "I haven't got all day." He added pointing its end in Kunzite's direction. Kunzite raised an eyebrow whimsically and floated gracefully to the ground.

"I never knew you had a death wish, dear Kyanite." Kunzite walked over to the fallen rack and picked up a sword. "Very well, you shall have part of you wish."

"Part?" Kyanite replied stubbornly.

"I will fight you, but I will not kill you." Kunzite looked over the dull blade and sighed.

"No, no this won't do at all..." He thought aloud, letting the blade go and allowing it to levitate in mid air. For a moment it sat suspended before melting away and being replace with a newer, much more menacing one.

Kunzite picked up the blade and looked it over. Kyanite gulped in fear for a moment. What was he doing anyway? Nephrite was practically the only other king to challenge Kunzite and survive. Maybe I can still get out of it? He thought hopefully.

"How can you do this to me?"

Kunzite put it best himself- it is a death wish! He replied back with annoyance.

"Don't you see who it is? I can't believe you would turn your back on me!" She shot back with more strength. Kyanite looked up at Kunzite- that was all he saw.

I see Kunzite.

"Look harder!" She shot again. Kyanite shut his eyes for a moment and reopened them. For a moment he saw Kunzite. A tall, muscular man with lightly tanned skin, hair as silver as the stars that dotted the night sky, blue eyes as cold as stone ... as cold as stone. Eyes as cold as the man who had taken Anatase from him.

The Captain looked back at Kyanite through Kunzite's eyes.

The memories all of a sudden flooded back for the hundredth time, but clearer, more realistic.

Anatase on the floor.

Her blood soaking everything around her-

The dress she wore, the pale carpeting she lay on, the blood on the dagger that killed her, the blood on Kyanite's hands...he could still feel it's warmth.

"Damn you!" He yelled, springing forward and charging Kunzite.

Kunzite surprised, looked up quickly and still managed to aggressively parry Kyante's advance. The parry was crude and hastened, which left Kyanite another opening on Kunzite's side. He again parried Kyainte, but it was even weaker than before.

Kyanite fought on with all his mite, never weakening, and never surrendering. The two continued to fight viciously, Kyanite's power eventually overtaking that of the Captains'. In the end, he found himself on top of the Captain with the blade of his sword at the throat of his opponent, and smiled sickly.

"Soon my most awaited moment will come... I have longed to kill you. The pain you have caused me, the pain you have caused her, it will soon be gone." He hissed, smiling again.

"Kyanite! What foolishness do you speak of?" Kunzite groweled, slapping Kyanite hard across the jaw. Kyanite reopened his eyes to find the exact same situation- except reversed. Kunzite stood above him, sword edge drawn across his throat, nicking it painlessly. Kyanite looked to the side and found that he had only moved a few feet.

"Don't ever waste my time again, do you hear?" Kunzite spoke as he backed off of Kyanite, and kicked him hard in the ribs.

"The Queen is very displeased with you. And so am I? If you keep up this act and all your erratic, unexplainable behavior, you shall surely be killed. And I can promise you that it will be the long, un-enjoyable way."

Kyanite gulped, then nodded shamefully, fully understanding Kunzite's threat.

How could I have been so stupid?

Kunzite rammed his sword into the training mat.

"Keep it," Kunzite said with a smile. "Maybe it will bring you fortune- a little." He spoke snidely. He looked at his surroundings, then added:

"And please clean this mess up."

He didn't look at Kyanite before he teleported away.

Kyanite lay on the mat for a moment; he could feel his heart pounding, and the swelling grow in the left side of his face. He breathed in deeply and felt a sharp pain shoot across his rib cage. He swore quietly.

Why must I do such stupid things? He wondered bitterly.

"He is much more stronger than he looks...take his sword...take it."

Why Anatase, I don't need his charity.

"Look carefully at it... it is my nemesis." She retorted, her voice filling with fear. Kyanite glanced up at it, the sword seemed smaller, somehow. The hilt was tarnished pewter; the blade had an aura of light about it. A small trickle of blood ran down the side slowly, pooling on the mat.

How he hated that sword.

What! How could that be? The captain still has it! I cannot take it... you tricked me before- there is nothing special about this either!"

"My love, forgive me- but it was him, it was the captain and that is his sword. Please take it...for me."

Kyanite licked his lips and sat up clutching his side as his did so. He reached out for the weapon, but could not bring himself to hands folded around the hilt. A sudden wash of memories of hate and revenge filled his mind. But also the memories of Anatase dying. The pain that the weapon had caused her. He pulled his hands back quickly and clumsily backed up on the mat with his hands and feet. Kyanite could not bear to look at it. He was raised to fear such a weapon, there was no way he could embrace it.

Jadeite entered the training area and paused when he saw Kyanite sitting in terror on the floor, his fear directed at the sword protruding from the mat in front of him.

Jadeite's brow furrowed trying to understand the scene before him.

"Kyanite-sama," He said. "Are you alright?" He asked, walking towards the form on the mat.

Kyanite looked up behind him, relieved to see the young tennou approaching him. Jadeite helped him to his feet, and the two looked down at the sword.

"Your spar ended badly, I assume?"

Kyanite nodded, running his hand through his thick black hair.

Jadeite laughed. If it weren't for his young, inexperienced face, he could pass for Queen Beryl's main agent easily.

"I can't believe he would do that?"

Jadeite looked up. "Who?"

Kyanite continued, almost ignoring Jadeite's presence and talking to another in the room. Only Kyanite and Jadeite stood there.

"One day I will find my vengeance... for everything."

"Who did this to you?" Jadeite asked again. Though he was only half a rank below the man, he still could be able to help in some way.

Kyanite ignored him again.

"I must go." He declared, backing up slowly from the sword. "I don't understand how you can just stand there, alright with everything that is here."

"Kyanite-sama, if you would just explain, then I would be able to understand and be able to help you."

"There is nothing you could fully understand." Kyanite said, and then paused, as if listening to something. "But I thank you for your kindness. One day you will rank high among Beryl's elite." He added putting a hand under Jadeite's chin, treating him almost as a child. Jadeite ignored the gesture, but also noted he did not refer to his Queen with the formality that was required.

Kyanite put his back to Jadeite and teleported away.

Jadeite shook his head in disbelief of what had happened.

Not wanting to be reprimanded by Kunzite or Nephrite for leaving the training area a mess, even if he hadn't caused it. Jadeite gathered up the spilled swords and replaced them in the rack. He walked back over to the sword projecting from the mat, pulled it out and replaced it back on the rack with the other, old, identical rusted practice swords.

* * *

Kyanite sat in his room, absently stroking the jaw that Kunzite had bruised a few days ago. Had only seen the king once since the embarrassment in the training area. Kunzite had never made any snide comments concerning that, and had presented himself with his usual stoicism. It still bothered Kyanite though. Why did the highest ranking of the shitennou treat him with such indifference? Kyanite had some skills, he wasn't a complete failure. Or maybe Kunzite wanted to train with Kyanite about as much as Kyanite did, that thought had never occurred to him.

Kyanite stood up and walked over to his dresser, and leaned against the top with his hands. He gazed into the mirror, examining the purple line stretching across his face. Kunzite had hit him hard, a little too hard. Or maybe Kunzite had just been being gentle. Kunzite was perfectly capable of breaking a man's jaw; he had seen him do that once to a student who wasn't listening to him. The scene briefly replayed it's self in Kyanite's head; he almost found the incident disturbing. But the student had been a troublemaker.

But so was Zoisite.

Kyanite wondered if Kunzite could even control his rage. Had he ever done that to Zoisite? No. Kunzite had hit Kyanite because he had been acting like an idiot, and he had deserved whatever the king gave to him.

He took one last look at his injury, made a face in the mirror and sat down in his desk chair, and poured himself a glass of port.

He mechanically took a sip from the glass, then yanked open the front of the binding uniform jacket. Though it was required to denote his rank and status among the others, Kyanite still suspected that his Queen had purposely designed them to suffocate her subordinates ever-so-slightly.

He took another sip from his glass.

As much as he disliked Kunzite for what he did, Kyanite still understood why that had been done. But it still bothered him, he hated to be walked over, Anatase knew and understood that, she never would have. But she was gone now, possibly the only kind creature in all of Beryl's reign, but she was still gone. So why should Kunzite treat him any different. Kyanite was required some training, and Kunzite was the only one to give it to him, regardless of weather either of them wanted it or not.

"But you know that isn't true."

"But it is." He replied aloud. He was not in the presence of anyone who would wonder why he was talking to 'no one'.

"Yes you do, beloved."

"Then what other reason is there?"

"You mean to tell me that you do not know?"

"Know what?"

Anatase was silent for a moment.

"Of your ...power."

"What power?"

"Oh darling, your power is why Kunzite treats you so poorly. There is ability in you that could one day out rank Kunzite, and even all who rule in this Kingdom. He wants to serve no one but himself. When Nephrite threatened his rank, he kept the man in check. Now you begin to threaten his rank, and he must make sure you do not."

"I don't believe it."

"But it is."

"And why should I believe you?"

Anatase was silent.

"I'm sorry, this past week has all been so strange. First your return to me, and now I'm destined to rule all of the Dark Kingdom..."

"Just believe me... I can even prove it to you."

"How so?"

"In Kunzite's room lies his personal journal. All the answers to the questions you seek are written inside."

"You expect me to sneak into one of the most heavily warded rooms in all of the Kingdom and leaf through a book of his most private thoughts?"

"It's the only way... but do not let the wards trouble you. I can take care of them."

"Huh?"

"He's gone, but only for a short time. You must go now, to discover your destiny... our destiny."

"But Anatase, If were to be caught-"

"You won't. Now go; right away."

Kyanite did not speak for a moment.

"Yes, Anatase."

* * *

Kyanite walked thorough his Lord, Kunzite's chamber hesitantly, and with fear clawing at his heart and at his conscience.

"So where is it?"

"On his bookshelf to the left of you."

Kyanite moved to the left and scanned the contents of the massive mahogany bookcase. He ran his hand through his hair at the confusing site of over a hundred books that sat before him, and there was only one he needed.

"Which one is it? Please tell me you know, or else I'm going to leave. I don't have enough time before Kunzite returns to go through all of this." He made a gesture to the shelf.

"The second shelf, thirteenth book from the right."

Kyanite bent down and examined the shelf, counting out from the side until his fingertips fell upon an old faded blue, leather bound book. The spine was about an inch thick. He pulled it out and held it in his hands, unsure of what he was supposed to do with it.

"Open it... and read what lies inside."

Kyanite stood back up, and walked over to a large table and chair near the case, likely where Kunzite did most of his studying.

He unwound the binding wrapped around it, and opened up the aged book. He turned to the last entry, and read:

...Anatase-san's next in line worries me. She never told him of his power, and now with out a teacher, he may loose control, and be destroyed. But if he were to be trained ... then that power could reclaim the Moon Kingdom and rule over this darkness as well ... but he would take my position, my destiny. He has to be stopped. I've stopped Anatase, and diverted those foolish ideals for the kingdom from Nephrite, but Kyanite must suffer the same fate as Anatase, he must die at the hands of what we all hate. Then and only then will I rise above the ranks, and one take the throne ...

Kyanite stopped reading, frightened at what he saw.

"...This can't be. Kunzaito-sama can't be like this, he can't!"

"It's hard to accept, I know, but it is the truth. Think of how I felt when I discovered this. Your lord must be stopped. For the good of the Kingdom, and for you."

"No Anatase, this may be true, but I cannot-" Kyanite froze in his sentence as he felt a surge of energy behind him. It began to gather.

Someone was teleporting here.

Kunzite was coming.

Kyanite slammed the book shut and jumped from his seat, turning around straight into the choking clutch of Kunzite's left hand.

He narrowed his silver eyes at Kyanite, enraged that he dared to enter his chambers unescorted, and uninvited.

"...Kunzaito-sama..." Kyanite gasped, struggling to take breaths. He pulled on the hand that bound him, but there was no way to break their grip.

Kunzite continued to stand calmly, but his grip tightened ever so slightly.

"Why did you enter my chambers, fool?" He pulled Kyanite closer. "Did you think you could come in here and not be found out?"

Kyanite did not respond, looked back at Kunzite through pleading eyes.

"Even youma are not that foolish." He whispered in Kyanite's ear before throwing him back against the desk.

Kyanite ran his hands around his bruising neck and took a few short deep breaths.

"Why were you snooping in my chambers?" Kunzite asked.

Kyanite did not respond.

Still frustrated, Kunzite pulled him back to his feet by the scruff of his shirt and slammed his front side against one of the stone walls, and began twisting his arm back.

"I have killed for less than this dear Kyanite ... so I will ask you again, what were you doing in my chambers?"

Kyanite could feel his arm being twisted into an unnatural angel, and decided to answer.

"Because I came to apologize to you my lord, for how I acted earlier this week in training."

"Because...because I came to apologize to you...for..." Kyanite struggled to fight the pain. "For how I acted earlier this week in training..."

Kunzite held his arm for another moment before he let it go. Kyanite turned his back to the wall, still breathing heavily, and slid to the ground.

"My apologies Kunzaito-sama... I should have waited till you were in."

Between breaths, Kyanite gasped, "I apologize to you Kunzaito-sama, I should have waited till you were in."

Kunzite remained silent, mostly unsure of how to react.

"You are such a fool Kyanite." Kunzite he said finally shaking his head. "Do you not understand what these impulsive actions are going to cost you?"

Kyanite stayed silent but glared back up at him.

"That the Queen will kill you if you continue this?"

Kyanite gulped slowly, beginning to come to terms with how strange his actions have been as of late.

"Kyanite, I want to help you, but I can't if you keep acting this way."

Kunzite crossed his arms. Kyanite's glare began to soften.

"You will make a skilled tennou one day, so Kyanite, will you stop this nonsense and let me help you?"

"Don't listen to him beloved, he is trying to trick you. He would lash out at you in a moments notice again."

Kyanite rose to his feet, resting most of his weight on the wall as he did.

"Kunzite, watch your words, or else your feelings for Zoisite may be revealed to the Queen... Something like that cannot stay a secret forever."

"Kunzite, watch your words, or else your feelings for Zoisite may be revealed to the Queen... Something like that cannot stay a secret forever."

Kunzite narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

"I'm am going to ignore that little side comment and remind you that although the Queen will only kill you if you disrespect her further, I on the other hand will kill you whenever I please, and when she asks, I will remind her of how strange you have been acting, and blame my killing you on that."

Kyanite was afraid to look at Kunzite, but somehow, he managed to, if only for a moment.

"Get out of my site."

Kyanite listened to him and teleported away.

Kunzite walked over to his desk and sat down, resting his hands in his face.

What was he going to do? Kyanite was right; he could not keep his dirty little secret from the Queen forever. But would Kyanite actually go through with it was the question.

Kunzite felt an energy surge behind him.

He still continued to rest his hands in his face, not bothering to move to greet his visitor. The one he mistook Kyanite for.

He felt warm arms wrap around his body, and a head press against his shoulders.

"What's wrong Kunzaito-sama?" Zoisite asked, worry in his words.

"Kyanite."

Zoisite sighed, he had herd this speech over a dozen times already it seemed. "What did he do this time?"

"I found him in my chambers only minutes ago."

Zoisite loosened his grip and looked up. "What? I'll kill the bastard."

"No, Zoisite. Queen Beryl-sama has ordered me to watch him now, if I am to let anyone harm him, then..." Kunzite could tell Zoisite was making a very disappointed face. Kunzite continued. "He would have never gotten passed my wards, but I knew you were coming to visit, so I left them inactivated."

Zoisite rested his head back down against Kunzite.

"Zoisite, what would have happened if he had caught you here, or even worse, the both of us? He threatened to go to the Queen about us, I know he doesn't have any proof, but to Queen Beryl-sama, suspicions are good enough."

"What possessed him to threaten you, he knows he can't get away with it."

"I don't know Zoisite, none of his actions can be explained. I was offering to help him, and out of nowhere he suggested I watch my words or Queen-Beryl-sama may discover out relationship."

"What are you going to do?"

"I just don't know. He said something like this couldn't stay a secret forever... and he's right."

Zoisite moved one of his hands up to stroke Kunzite's neck. "Don't worry about it. Kyanite would never go through with it. He knows fully well what would happen to him if he did that."

Kunzite sighed in response.

"Do you know why he was in your chamber, Kunzaito-sama?"

"He said he wanted to apologize to me for his strange behavior in training earlier this week. I also found him reading this."

Kunzite held of the book that had captivated Kyanite.

Zoisite read the title. "An Introduction to Epee Techniques- why would he read that? His skill goes far beyond that level."

"That's what I don't understand."

Zoisite sighed again, then kissed his Lords ear. "Worry about it later, our time is short here."

Kunzite did not respond. Zoisite was right, but he also couldn't help but be reminded of what Kyanite had said.

* * *

Kyanite paced nervously in his room. Kunzite had caught him looking in his room. Did he know why Kyanite was there? Does he know what Kyanite knows now?

Kyanite stopped abruptly, and ran his hands over his face, then back around his neck. He didn't have the nerves for any of this. He yanked open his uniform collar, and then continued his pace.

What was he going to do?

Anatase wanted him to kill Kunzite, but he couldn't do that, no matter what he had done to Kyanite. But what had he done? He had deliberately killed Anatase, and now he was going after Kyanite because he could easily outrank Kunzite one day.

But was that reason enough to take Kunzite's life?

It had to be; it had to.

Kyanite slowed his pace to a stop, and closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply. Was he actually considering going through with it?

Yes, he was.

But not because of what Kunzite was doing to Kyanite, no he could deal with that. He would kill Kunzite because of what he had done to Anatase. He could have saved her, he could have made sure they made it back to Jigoku, but no, he left her for dead. Lying on the floor, bleeding. Her blood staining the carpeting, her pale dress, her delicate features, Kyanite's hands...

Kyanite stopped his train of thought.

But he would never succeed.

Kyanite would have a better chance of killing Queen Beryl-sama than Kunzite. Even if he could go through with it, there was no way he could get to Kunzite without arousing suspicion.

It was hopeless.

What was he thinking anyway; why would he actually consider killing his lord. Everything he read had to be a lie- it had to be. Kunzite would never do that to a fellow tennou... or would he?

"Kyanite, please don't stray. I know you know the truth... you have too."

"But Anatase, I can't just go and ki-... kill him." Kyanite stuttered in response.

"But you have to..."

"I don't-"

"He killed me, Kyanite. Ask yourself, can you let him get away with that?"

Kyanite felt the tears gather in his eyes at Anatase's words.

"I know... but I can't..."

"I thought you loved me..."

"...I do." He whispered.

"Do you know? He's stopping me from returning, from being reborn. He knows if I return, I can release your power. Do you want me to stay like this forever?"

"No."

"Then Kyanite, I beg you, please free me... from him."

"I...I can't."

"You can."

Kyanite wanted too... but he didn't know if he was capable of it. He returned to his brisk pace of his room, trying not to think about what it seemed fated for him to do. He stopped in front of his desk and paused, staring up at the sword mounted on the wall. Kyanite thought back as far as he could, but there was no memory of where the weapon had originated. He looked at it for a long time; it seemed small for a sword; and the hilt too dark, the blade too clean... too white, too pure.

Kyanite gasped.

Had he had that weapon in his room the whole time? Had he kept what he hated most so close to him?

Kyanite licked his lips slowly. No more would he run away from that weapon. He jumped up onto the cluttered desk and reached up, pulling the weapon from the mount. It didn't come loose at first. He pulled harder, putting all his strength into that one action. He pulled, and pulled, and pulled until finally... it came loose. The force of its release was so strong he fell backwards off his desk and onto the hard floor, hitting his head as he landed.

Kyanite lay on the ground for a long time. The impact had taken more from him that he had expected. He lay, trying to remember his name, what he did, why he held a blade in his right had. Then it all came back, with one voice.

"Kyanite... your name is Kyanite. You are to be the second ruler of Jigoku... but only if you let me help you."

"Yes... Anatase."

"You have to kill him, you have to. It's the only way we can be together."

"But-"

"Shhh... it will all be okay. Just trust me, please."

Kyanite nodded his head slightly, eyes still closed.

Suddenly he could feel a presence near him. Something grabbed his arm and pulled him up to his feet. He could feel it move behind him and lean in close to his ear.

"I know you can do it."

Kyanite swallowed.

"I know you can do it... for me..."

He felt arms wrap around his shoulders.

"It just had to be you."

She leaned in closer.

"You know, I only wanted... you. But Queen Beryl-sama would never allow it."

Kyanite breathed in slowly.

"Don't you want to defy her?"

"...Yes." He whispered.

Kyanite made up his mind.

"Take me," He said. "Show me the pathway."

He felt the presence leave his side, and move towards his doorway.

Kyanite followed.

The hallways were poorly lit and he could not see what led him. He followed for a long time, in a silent slumber, unable to think about what was coming. He followed until he reached what seemed to be a dead end.

"In front of you," Anatase said. "Is a secret corridor that leads to Kunzite's room... the wall is just an illusion. Take that pathway, he will never find you."

Kyanite swallowed the dry lump in his throat and walked up to the wall. Instead of walking straight through, he held the sword back and swung it in front of him.

The Sword passed through.

And in another minute, so did Kyanite.

* * *

Jadeite walked briskly down the hallway to his room, eager to greet the comforting feel of his warm bed. His weapons practice had gone rather long, and rather slow, and had strangely drained him of most of his energy. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. He despised training that hard anyway, but Queen Beryl-sama wanted the Shitennou in top form when they were to lead the attack on the Moon Kingdom.

If they ever would it seemed.

He rounded a corner that passed one of the other Kings chambers and paused.

Kunzite's door had been wrecked.

He waked closer and examined the scene. One of the door hinges had been badly scarred, a large gash in the door was undeniable, and the lock had been obliterated. Someone had succeeded in entering the corridor that led to Kunzite's chambers. Someone who was likely not welcome there.

Someone who wanted Kunzite for dead?

* * *

Kyanite walked down the small corridor with silent determination. Soon he would reach Kunzite, soon he and Anatase would be together and soon he would rule over all. He half smiled at the thought.

As he rounded a corner he stopped suddenly in his tracts. He could vaguely make out the form of another hiding in the shadows... possibly waiting for him. It was too tall and human in form to be a youma... Kunzite must have sent one of the tennou to watch over- half expecting something like this.

He swung the sword past his head and jumped the individual before he thought of his actions. Kyanite slashed their arm, missing the ideal neck area entirely. The King yelled out in pain, and stumbled into the glow of a dimming torch. Zoisite narrowed his eyes and glared at him.

"Fool." He spoke bitterly. "If you're trying to kill me, it didn't quite work!" Zoisite, registering the pain for a second time grimaced and held the large slash on his left arm.

"What are you doing anyway?" He snarled, and then added, "I can promise you, Kunzaito-sama will hear of this, as will Queen Beryl-sama. Your time is up."

Kyanite lowered his sword in defeat.

"What are you doing?"

"I've failed."

"What? Don't try and go back on what you did now."

Kyanite ignored Zoisite.

"I have... look at me."

"No, you haven't. Look at him, he doesn't even believe that you could beat him... he's so smug. I know you can. Kyanite, take what means the most from Kunzite, just like he did to you..."

Kyanite narrowed his eyes and looked up at Zoisite, only half of his interest was directed at him, he didn't even consider Kyanite a threat! Gripping his sword tightly, he again rushed Zoisite with full speed. Zoisite jumped the blade's point and shot a blast of cherry blossoms at Kyanite, slamming him into the wall violently. His slid to the ground slowly, unable to stand. The sword lay inched from his feet.

It seemed as if its pure glow was eaten away by the darkness.

With the disappearing light, he slowly began to realize what he was doing.

He could feel a large amount of energy gathering in front of him. Zoisite looked up sharply to see a form appear, Jadeite.

"The Bastard tried to kill me." Zoisite hissed, still holding him arm.

"I found Kunzite's door ruined, I assumed someone was trying to break in."

"They're stopping you from reaching Kunzite."

"What? ...No, you can't ask me to do...that."

"Do what?" Jadeite asked, looking down at Kyanite strangely.

"Get to your feet, fool; before I remove them." Zoisite spat.

"Kyanite... I know it's hard, but they're stopping me from returning as much as Kunzite is."

"What?"

"They want you dead too, Kyanite. You stand in they're way, as much as you stand in theirs."

"But I can't...I just can't." He said starting cry. The two kings looked at each other, confused on weather to come to the weeping man's aid, or take advantage of his weakness.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I've failed you...no matter what my power I cannot do what you ask. They are my friends and I cannot bring myself to do that for you! ...I'm sorry."

"You can my love, find it in you heart-"

"There is nothing in my heart, nothing warm. Only pain and hatred." Kyanite cut in angrily.

"Then use that pain, that hate- it's what they did to me. Our love was destroyed because of them. We will never be together as long as they live!"

Kyanite covered his face in embarrassment.

"Stand up."

Kyanite rose to his feet slowly. He grabbed the sword as he did.

"I know what you two are trying to do... and it won't work. Your time is now."

"I know what you two are trying to do... and it won't work. Your time is now."

"Kyanite... what are you saying?" Jadeite asked, slowly backing us.

As if sensing the young man's uncertainty, Kyanite leaped from where he stood, and ran at Jadeite with full force, but the king moved from the attack before Kyanite's sword point reached him (or maybe Kyanite missed him entirely.)

He swung the sword clumsily at the three adversaries. They moved out of harm's was easily as he flung the sword around like a small child dreaming of being a great knight one day. The three tennou could never return the attack... under and order from Queen Beryl not to harm him.

He raised his sword overhead and slashed it down on Zoisite, who again dodged the attack. Kyanite stumbled forward, off balance from the swords weight. Kyanite continued the attack, driven by what he knew, and how much he hated that.

On a higher plane of thought, the gears turned in his head.

Why was he being so awkward with the blade...why was he constantly rushing everybody... he hadn't done that since he was 10?

And then it hit him, like a ton of bricks.

Anatase was dead.

Why was he listening to a dead woman telling him kill his companions?

But then the feeling left as fast as it had hit him.

Were they his companions?

Was she really gone?

Was she?

Was she?

WAS SHE?

He heard a voice.

"Kyanite!"

"STOP!" He yelled throwing his sword to his feet. The two kings stopped to, unsure if he was talking to them, or to himself. Kyanite grabbed his head and his body started shaking.

"Shut up!" He yelled. "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" He continued grabbing his head even harder.

"Kyanite, are you okay?" Zoisite asked cautiously, not wanting to get him started again. Not waiting for answer, he took a step forward and repeated the question. Without, as so much flinching, Kyanite shot a burst of cold air in his direction, a warning to them. Zoisite stepped back to a safe distance and the three shot each other looks.

"Zoisite, you do not care how I feel. Don't waste your breath."

"Zoisite, you do not care...?" Kyanite replied stopping to think half way through the sentence.

"Kyanite, please, don't do this to yourself...to us." Anatase cut in. "Everybody has doubts, these are just your own...they will pass, unless of course you want to believe their trickery and lies?"

"SHUT UP!" He yelled again. He looked up and met eyes with the Kings...they were looking more and more unsure by the moment.

Queen Beryl-sama would not mind as much if he died while attacking them. He had to react quickly; mend things before they did.

Kyanite's his head felt dizzy and pain shot through it, Kyanite grabbed it even harder. Anatase... on the floor, dying. Her blood staining the carpeting, her pale dress, her smooth skin, Kyanite's hands...

"NO!" He yelled. But the images kept coming.

Again and again.

Anatase... on the floor, dying. Her blood staining the carpeting, her pale dress, her smooth skin, Kyanite's hands...

"Kyanite," He thought he heard Jadeite say. He looked up to see the man standing closer, with his hand stretched out. "Take my hand, Queen Beryl-sama will forget this incident, just let us help you." He continued, cautiously taking another step. Kyanite looked at it with hope- but then the images shot through his head with even more intensity. He began shaking his head back and forth...he didn't even know where memories ended and reality began.

...Oh Anatase.

"Take it fool... before Kunzaito-san finds what you've done to his student." Zoisite cut in. Kyanite, before he could stop himself, snapped, whipped up his sword and swung it at Jadeite, slashing his flank. Jadeite yelped in pain and jumped back, drawing his small sword from the scabbard as he did.

"You mean nothing to him."

"I only wanted your help once... but now she's gone!"

Jadeite didn't even have time to respond to the arcane statement.

At a moment's notice, a wash of hatred would come over Kyanite, and swing his sword with such force he would crack the cavern wall when he missed, but then other times he would see Jadeite, a rival that, for some reason wanted to help him, and fall short, stopping himself.

Kyanite couldn't even hear himself think anymore...the images were so life like. Always the same... Anatase... on the floor, dying. Her blood staining the carpeting, her pale dress, her smooth skin, Kyanite's hands...

"I only wanted...you."

"Shut up you!" He yelled at himself. "Anatase! Stop it!" Jadeite stopped a moment, lowering his sword ever so slightly.

"What?" He called, confused.

"Stop it Anatase! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" He yelled as he swung his sword in sync with his words. Jadeite continued fighting on, unsure if he should kill him now and chance the Queen's wrath, or wait until Kyanite calmed down...if he ever did.

"I understand you pain Anatase! But stop it! Please!" Kyanite yelled again as he backed Jadite into a corner. Without as so much blinking, Kyanite disarmed the sword from Jadeite's hand and raised his own above his head, in preparation for the final blow.

"Kyanite, put the sword down." Jadeite spoke his voice quavering. "Put it down...I can help you we all can, don't do anything stupid."

"You don't understand...you never have and you never will...you, Kunzite, everyone. I'm sorry, but it's the only way. Your what's keeping her from returning." He replied, looking down for a moment, and then up at Jadeite's shocked expression. He opened his mouth for a moment to add to his words, but stopped himself and swung the sword down to end Jadeite.

But he stopped. He froze midway.

First his hands started to tremble and then the rest of his body.

He stumbled to the cavern wall and leaned against it, trying to catch his breath.

The smooth feel of wallpaper surprised Kyanite; he focused his eyes to see himself in a corridor, not a secret passageway. A corridor to Kunzite's room. The same corridor everyone uses.

He looked down at his chest to see a damp crimson spot next to where his heart used to be. Coughing up his own blood, he stumbled around, back against the wall, to meet the eyes of Jadeite and Zoisite- who held a blood red sword with stained hands.

He did not say anything. His eyes, and his hands said it all.

He did not want to search for forgiveness, in his face. He shrugged Zoisite's cold glare and stumbled away, first collapsing to his knees, followed by the rest of his body.

"Kyanite, you need a doctor." Jadeite spoke.

Kyanite did not hear him.

The whole area seem to fade away, nothing surrounded him...except a form.

A woman.

"Anatase." Kyanite cried out, tears streaming down his face. From pain of a wound, and pain from the loss of Anatase.

"You know..." She said, taking a step forward. "I only wanted you..."

"No!" Kyanite whimpered. "You never did...I understand now..."

"Do you?" She took another step forward, this time from the darkness, into a shaft of light.

That face!

The picture... the picture of the sad girl... standing alone.

Anatase standing alone, her face pale, eyes like glass, her skin...translucent even in the darkness...

The painting... the girl... Anatase was dead.

So was the girl in the painting.

"No..." He whimpered again. "Not like this... I only wanted you. I never wanted it to end this way."

"But you're wrong." She said again. "It is you I only wanted."

"But-" He began in protest, still cradling his gushing wound. But the words left him, and he remembered something he had tried to forget.

Anatase... on the floor, dying. Her blood staining the carpeting, her pale dress, her smooth skin, Kyanite's hands...

Kyanite turned to run, and as he did, he heard a cry.

"Kyanite..."

He turned to see Anatase struggle to get to her feet. The gods had given her a second chance. She met his eye.

"Kyanite, help me... we can leave together..."

She held out her hand.

The footsteps grew louder.

"Down here... I think I can hear them-"

"They'll never escape us-"

"There! I see one...quickly!"

Kyanite turned around and ran down a hallway in the opposite direction of the approaching guards. He left her there.

He heard a scream.

"Kyanite!"

He ignored it... he had to.

He ran down the hallway until it felt as if his lungs would burst. Somehow he had to get back to the room to get the documents... for Anatase's sake.

He didn't deserve to do anything for her.

His legs finally gave out and he tripped on a bump in the carpeting and fell onto his elbows, eyes meeting with his bloody hands... Anatase's blood.

He remembered the picture he saw.

He was always a coward. Nothing had changed.

"No!" He sobbed. "It was never meant to be that way..."

Finally, Kyanite understood.

"You see now? I only wanted you..."

Anatase had died for him.

It was death all along that Kyanite was meant for.

* * *

Kunzite paced a hole in the carpet as he awaited the final summons of the Queen. It hadn't taken her long too discover what had happen or to summon Kunzite. He decided he wouldn't try to hide anything from her, her would tell everything, even the 'voices' heard by Kyanite. It almost frightened Kunzite to think that someone of Kyanite's class to go mad, that was for youma, never a king. But he believed the word of Zoisite, and that of Jadeite's as well. He understood why he was killed, he just whished he understood the reason.

"Kunzite."

Kunzite froze, trying to assess which direction it originated from.

"Kunzite."

Kunzite drew his sword and looked around the room, searching for the source of the voice. Was it a youma? The Queen's trickery?

"It is none of those, dear Kunzite."

"Who is this? Or are you but an illusion?" Kunzite demanded.

The voice laughed. "If only that were so, Kunzite-sama."

"Who are you?" He repeated.

"I died not so long ago... or have you forgotten me already."

Kunzite sighed in annoyance. "You are nothing but a figment of my imagination, brought on by the stress of your passing. Leave."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to be such a burden...if I am nothing, then how can you command me to go somewhere. You know what I am, you just can't accept it."

"Leave! The Queen will summon me any minute, I wish to present myself well- I don't dare to anger her further."

"Oh, you actually think she cares? She just going to inform you of Zoisite's new rank, or the filling of my old one."

"I don't care."

"He was promoted because of your failure over me... don't you find that intriguing?"

"I won't listen to you."

"Why so, do I speak the truth?"

"No!"

"Strange how the ones you love are rewarded upon your failure."

"I said you are irrelevant to me."

"Then why does everything I say bother you? Well, I'm going to tell you something you won't like at all." Kyanite chuckled. "Zoisite is going to die...and it's going to be all your fault."

"Shut up! I'm not listening to you!"

"None the less, Zoisite is going to die...and it's going to be all your fault..."

Fin


Author's End Note:

If you didn't pick it up at the end, Kunzite went mad. Just as Kyanite had. I'm not implying that you're daft, I just don't think I got the message across properly. Although Anatase was dead, she wasn't a manifestation of death, only one of Kyanite's guilt over letting her die and not doing anything to save her - as you can clearly see when she tells him to do things she knows will get him killed. Story still was a little crappy and didn't completely make sense *shrugs* oh well. Please tell me what you thought of it - that includes both likes and dislikes. I don't take insult when I'm given an honest opinion - I prefer that.

Concerning names, Kyanite and Anatase are both minerals, derived from Greek terms. Kyanite means 'Blue' and Anatase means 'Extension'. Weird thing is, I chose the names before I knew the meaning ^_^; Don't forget, Sailormoon is copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi and all characters are hers except for my two.

Well, I'm glad you read it to the end and hope it wasn't a total wasted experience.

Thanks, dalles (dalles_@hotmail.com)


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Disclaimer: Sailormoon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha and Toei Animation. All characters, settings etc. are used without permission. This is an amateur fiction, and I definitely won't make any money of it.


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