Sailor Silver Moon

Part 2

© 2001 by Lady Emma

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"So how are we going to find this impostor?" asked Usagi.

"Well," said Ami, "I say we look for a new student in our school."

"Or a new business!" suggested Mako.

"How about just any mysterious shadow?" questioned Rei.

"Good ideas, guys," said Minako.

The girls were outside Crossroads High eating lunch. "Let's just look around for new girls," instructed Ami.

They had been doing this for barely a minute when a red convertible pulled up in the parking lot, stereo blaring Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation." The driver was a red-haired girl about two years older than them with wavy red hair falling just below her shoulders. She was wearing silver sunglasses, a leather jacket, and red satin pants. Well, she was also wearing a shirt and shoes, but those weren't very interesting and not worth mentioning.

The girl parked the car and hopped over the door, a bag from the nearest fast-food joint in her hand. She waved merrily at the girls, deftly removed her sunglasses, and hopped up on a picnic table and proceeded to unpack her lunch.

The girls stared open-mouthed. "That was easy," muttered Makoto.

"This fanfic writer really sucks," commented Rei.

"Excuse me," said a voice behind the girls.

They all turned around. Behind them was a girl about their age wearing a uniform identical to Minako's, Makoto's, Ami's, and Usagi's. She, like the older girl, had red hair, but hers was tightly braided. She had large round glasses and carried a small brown bag. "Excuse me," she said again, "but would you mind if I had lunch with you? I'm new here and I'm afraid I don't know anybody."

At this, Rei climbed up on top of the picnic table at which they had been sitting and shouted at the heavens, "Just what do you think you're doing? This is Sailor Moon for crying out loud! There's only supposed to be one possible choice!"

The new girl looked quite confused. "Is she quite all right?" she asked Makoto.

Mako smiled nervously. "Yeah... erm... she's a priestess. They do things like that sometimes."

The new girl nodded sagely. "Ah. I understand."

Rei climbed off the table. "Hi. I'm Rei."

"My name's Tira," said the new girl.

"Hi, Tira, I'm Minako."

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Makoto. Call me Mako."

"I'm Ami. How do you do?"

Usagi was silent, just staring at Tira. Mako nudged her with her foot. "Yeah, I'm Usagi," muttered Usagi.

Tira smiled. "I'm pleased to meet you, Usagi."

At that moment, the bell rang. "Well, we'll probably see you later, Tira," said Ami.

"All right," said Tira. "Bye!" she left.

Rei turned to Usagi. "Odango Atama! How could you be so rude?"

Usagi started to cry. "Why do you have to be so mean to me, Rei?"

Rei scowled. "Oh, shut up. Nobody likes you anyway. Not even the author likes you. I heard her say it. You're not her favorite character. You're not even her favorite scout."

Usagi sniffed. "Then why does she watch the show?"

Rei shrugged. "Search me."

Usagi looked puzzled. "Then who is her favorite scout?"

Rei scowled again. "Oh, it's Makoto."

Mako grinned and tossed her hair. "Can you blame her?"

Rei rolled her eyes. Usagi made a gagging noise. Ami sighed. Minako forgot she was supposed to do anything at all.

"Well..." said Usagi, "I didn't mean to be rude to Tira anyway. It's just that she looked so familiar..."

The rest of the girls gasped. "The author is recycling a character!" exclaimed Makoto.

"Who do you think it could be, Rei?" asked Ami.

Rei's eyes got really big. "I have an idea. You see the author told me who her favorite characters were."

"And?" said Usagi.

"Well... if she's recycling characters... it's probably someone from the Dark Kingdom."

"Oh no!" moaned Usagi, "More pedophiles, alcoholics, homosexuals, and cross-dressers!"

* * *

Tira witnessed all of this from behind the nearest tree. As Rei made the announcement that Tira was someone from the Dark Kingdom, Tira smacked herself on the forehead. She sighed and opened a portal.

When she had been through the portal, she burst into tears. She stood there crying in an empty ruin-like room. At once, tall, muscular silver (blue? green?)-haired man entered the room. He gasped and rushed over to her, enfolding her in his arms. "Whatever is the matter? Did it not go well?"

Tira sobbed. "They know what we're doing! They know what the author's doing! Oh, Kunzite-sama, whatever will we do?"

Kunzite smiled kindly. "Tell you what, why don't you take off that horrid disguise. I'm sure you'll feel better."

Tira nodded and sniffed. Instantly, her red braided hair turned coppery, long, and curly and she wore a gray uniform instead of a schoolgirl uniform.

"Is that better, Zoi-chan?"

Zoisite nodded. "Yes," he said, and snuggled up close to Kunzite's muscular body. "I feel much better already."

Kunzite lowered his face to meet Zoisite's and they kissed.

It just happened that a tall, red-haired woman wearing the NegaVerse crest upon her forehead walked in the room. She observed the situation and rolled her eyes. She cleared her throat loudly and Kunzite and Zoisite, with some difficulty, separated and stood at attention, facing the woman.

The woman smiled evilly, as that was the only manner in which she could smile, threw her head back, and shouted, "Hey Jadeite! Nephrite! Get your asses over here!"

Zoisite and Kunzite were shocked and appalled. Language? In Sailor Moon? With a target audience of ten-year-olds?

Nephrite and Jadeite appeared shortly and stood on either side of Kunzite and Zoisite. The woman paced in front of them. "Zoisite, report," she commanded.

"Queen Morganite, the Sailor Senshi know that a character has been recycled. Also; they seemed to be discussing some kind of 'impostor.'"

Morganite sighed exasperatedly and pushed some hair behind her pointed ears. "Well, so what if they know a character's been recycled. They won't do anything about it. You will continue on your mission as planned.

"As for the impostor, I'd guess that someone is posing as one of the Senshi. That's a fairly common thing for a crappy fanfic writer to do."

The four kings nodded in agreement.

"Zoisite, did any other new students show up?"

Zoisite nodded. "Yes, Queen Morganite. There was one other girl... she was a couple of years older than my assumed identity. Not quite as old as Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto, however, but definitely older than the inner senshi."

Nephrite's eyes gleamed. "How old would you say she was?"

Zoisite smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know, you pedophile."

Nephrite raised his hand as if to hit Zoisite. Zoisite conjured an ice crystal, and Kunzite gently took it away with a glare to Nephrite. "You will not hurt Zoisite," he told him in a voice that could not be argued. Nephrite scowled and returned to his place in line. Zoisite pouted and Kunzite took him into his arms. "Don't worry, my pet, you can kill him later. A nice, slow, painful death for Nephrite, would you like that?" he continued to whisper things like that for a few minutes until Morganite couldn't take it anymore and said, "All right, all right. New rule: no PDA."

Kunzite and Zoisite reluctantly parted, Zoisite pouting once more. "Now, back to business... Zoisite, did there appear to be any dramatic music swelling whenever this mystery woman appeared on the scene?"

Zoisite shook his head. "Well, her radio was playing some old American song..."

Morganite raised an eyebrow. "What was it?"

Zoisite sniggered. "'Bad Reputation' by Joan Jett. Very senshi-like, don't you think?" He rolled his eyes.

"I'll bet the author just likes the song," suggested Nephrite. His eyes widened and he said, "I'll bet it's a self-insertion! The author's going to save the day!"

Morganite's eyes flashed. "No, that's not a self-insertion."

"How do you know?"

"Because one of the other characters is kind of a self-insertion!"

"Which one?"

Morganite's eyes got very wide and she cleared her throat a few times.. "Anyway, Jadeite, I want you to assume an identity and get aquatinted with this woman. And while you're down there, get yourself a personality. You're so boring, for God's sake."

Jadeite sank to one knee. "As you wish, my queen," he said, and disappeared.

Nephrite frowned. "Aw, can't I do it?"

Morganite rolled her eyes. "No!"

"Why not?"

"Because you're a friggin' pedophile, that's why!"

"I am not!"

"I'm the queen, and what I say goes! Now go away-- I mean, you're dismissed!"

Nephrite stuck his tongue out at Morganite and disappeared. Zoisite perked up and offered, "May I kill him for you, my queen?"

"Maybe later. He might be useful."

Zoisite pouted. "Yes, my queen."

Morganite was about to dismiss them, but she stopped. "Oh, one more thing... we've gotten an offer from a project 'CRUD' or something... hold on..." she rummaged through her NegaPockets. "Ah, here it is," she said, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. "An offer from project CURE to get rid of Chibi-Usa. Any takers?"

Kunzite declared, "I will dispose of the beast, my queen."

"Good deal. All right, you two are dismissed. Keep up the good work."

Zoisite and Kunzite teleported back to their chambers. "Hey Kunzite."


"How'd we get here anyway?"

"We teleported here."

"Not that! I mean, here. Back from the dead."

"I dunno. I guess it's just a big hole in the plot the author didn't want to cover up."

"Hmm... this fanfic really sucks. It's not quite a funfic because it's not funny, but it's too stupid to be fanfic."


"Nephrite really pisses me off."


"Can I kill him?"

"Maybe later."




"I thought this author wrote Dark Kingdom stuff exclusively."

"I think she's experimenting."

"Well we should be in here more."

"What do you think this endless dialogue is for?"

"Oh. You have a point."




"Why are we just talking?"

"I think the author has a strict no-hentai policy."

"Oh... want to go find a hentai writer?"

"Sure. Let's go."

The End of Part 2 - Goto Part 3

Author's End Notes:

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Disclaimer: Sailormoon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha and Toei Animation. All characters, settings etc. are used without permission. This is an amateur fiction, and I definitely won't make any money of it.

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