What would happen if the Dark Kings met...?

© 1998 by Lyra Stormrider

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Malachite, Jadeite, Nephrite, and Zoisite sat in an antechamber discussing new ways to drain energy when Queen Beryl walked in.

"Here. Somebody left this as an offering to Queen Metallia, but she gave it to me because she didn't want it. One of you can take it, I don't want it," she said, tossing a pink bundle at them, then leaving.

"Hi! I'm Rini! You want to play?" asked the pink-haired little girl brightly.

"Uh, Malachite-sama, since you're the most powerful, you can have her," offered Zoisite.

"I have no use for it! You may have it," he stammered, hiding his shaking hands as he looked at the pink creature.

Zoisite visibly gulped and turned to Nephrite. "You take her! She can, um, be your slave or something. Yeah, she can, uh, carry stuff or donate energy..."

"I...um...no thanks, Zoisite. I, uh, don't need a slave. Hey, Jeddy, you can have it! NONE of us want her!"

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!" Jadeite screamed as he ran through the wall, making a new doorway.

"Wait, I have an idea. Let's give her to those Sailor Scouts!" exclaimed Malachite-sama.

* * *

"Sailor Scouts, we have a present for you!" the four kings announced. The scouts quickly transformed and jumped into a fighting stance.

"Catch!" yelled Malachite.

"Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!" the scouts screamed and scattered.

Sailor Jupiter ran and hid under Malachite's cape. The little spore grabbed Sailor Mercury's leg, who kicked her off with a very loud scream. Mercury threw herself, sobbing, into the arms of the nearest person, Zoisite. He caught her in astonishment, listening to her sob something unintelligible. He looked at Malachite with a question in his eyes, but Malachite just shrugged as he patted Jupiter's arm, who was still hiding under his cape. Zoisite took his cue from Malachite, and began to pat Mercury's back. Nephrite looked on in shock.

"Um, you guys do realize we're still enemies. Right?" he asked.

Jupiter looked out from Malachite's cape. "Not while Rini's around! That spore makes all of you look like saints!"

"Tuxedo Mask, where are you?" wailed Sailor Moon.

"Ahh!! Get it off! Get it off!! Get it off!!!" he yelled, running around.

"Aku Ryu Tai San!!" Sailor Mars chanted, throwing one of her scrolls at the spore.

When the scroll hit her, Rini released her deathgrip on Tuxie's jacket and fell to the ground. Turning to Mars, she whined, "Why'd you do that, Pyro?! I'm gonna get you for that!!!"

"Ahhh!!!!" screamed Mars, jumping onto Nephrite. "Don't let her get me!!"

Venus, in the meantime, had her arms wrapped around Jadeite's waist and her face was pressed against his shirt. She was muttering, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."

Rini quickly changed her mind and went back after Tuxedo Mask, who just as quickly jumped on the roof of a nearby building. Rini began to wail, making the moon beam appear.

Malachite clapped his hands over his ears and yelled, "Shut up, you little brat!"


"Ha, Ha!!!! That was fun!! Do it again!" cried Rini delightedly.

Zoisite started crying along with Sailor Mercury after hearing those words.

"Sailor Moon, do something!" Nephrite and Mars cried at the same time.

"Uh, okay! Which attack should I use? Um, I got it! Moon Healing Activation!"

Rini just sat looking at her. "Why'd you do that, meatball head?"

"It didn't work!!!" she wailed, setting off sonic vibrations.

"Sailor Moon, stop it! Use your Moon Scepter!" Tuxedo Mask yelled from the nearby rooftop.

"Moon Scepter Elimination!"

Rini turned into a pile of pink ashes, and everyone began to cheer! Nephrite and Sailor Mars started to do a dance of joy.

"Thank goodness! I couldn't afford the insulin injections anymore," breathed Sailor Mars.

Sailor Venus looked up from where she was hugging Jadeite's waist. "You know, you're cute!" she said with a huge smile.

"You're not too bad looking yourself!" he replied, smiling down at her.

"Hey, guys, let's have a celebration at my apartment!" exclaimed Jupiter.

"Great! Are you going to cook, Lita?" asked Sailor Moon.

"Uh, yeah, but Sailor Moon, you just revealed my identity to the Dark Kings."

"Oh, don't worry, we promise to forget all about this," Malachite assured them.

"All right! Hey, do you four want to come to the party too?"

"Sure," the four chorused.

"By the way, I'm Lita." she said, detransforming. The others detransformed also. "This is Serena, Mina, Raye, and Amy. Over there is Darien."

"You can call me Malachite."

"Call me Zoi-chan."

"Neffy will do."

"You can call me Jed, or Jeddy, or Jadeite."


They all proceeded to Lita's apartment and partied until late that night.

- The End -

Author's Note:

Sailor Moon and company belong to Naoko Takeuchi, Toei, and several others. I don't own them, much as I might wish I did. I know that this story is impossible to fit into the Sailor Moon universe, but when I wrote it I didn't care. It's funny what a sugar-rush can do.

I came up with this idea after looking at the Project C.U.R.E. web site. I think you can tell I don't care all that much for the little pink sugar-spun princess. I've always wondered, how did Darien and Serena have a kid that looked like that? Black hair and blue eyes + blonde hair and blue eyes don't = pink hair and red eyes. Anyone have any ideas why she looks like that or who she really belongs to, write me!

Send all comments, compliments, and flames to StormEmpress@hotmail.com. Please don't flame me too badly! This is my first story with the Dark Kings and (shudder) Rini.

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