Dark Kingdom Interviews

Episode 2: Jadeite

© 1999 by Sailor Jade, edited by Christa-chan


Back to Dark Kingdom Home | Stayka's Dark Kingdom Stories | Other Dark Kingdom Stories


Author's Notes:

Hi everyone! I'm sooo glad that I *finally* got this done! It would have been sooner, but I had to study *gag* for exams! Just to let you know Mr Lemley is Christa-chan's and my geography teacher and Mr Godo is our science teacher.

We don't really hate them, but we needed some comic relief! This story sort-of drags on and on and on... well I better not make it any longer! Bye!

Oh one last thing, Thank you, Christa-chan, for helping me with this!

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon does not belong to me, she belongs to lots of other people who I've never met and never will. I have no clue who Pikachu and Team Rocket belongs to and don't really wish to find out. Please don't sue me anyone, I could never afford it.


Dark Kingdom Interviews - Episode 2: Jadeite

© 1999 by Sailor Jade, edited by Christa-chan

(Jade is J, Jedite is JE, Christa-chan is C, and Narrator is N)


J: Hello everyone! This is Sailor Jade coming from our new set in Japan!

JE (muttering): I didn't know she was a scout...*BEEP*

J: Before I start the interview with my beloved Jedite (sigh), let us have a few moments of 'respective' silence and mourn the deaths of our beloved teachers, as well as censor people, Mr. Godo and Mr. Lemley.

(Everyone tries to keep a straight face, and doesn't succeed.)

C (runs on stage with HUGE red and blue pompoms and a sailor fuku on): Give me a J! Give me an E! Give me a D-I-T-E! What does that spell? I don't know, I failed my spelling class!

JE: A *BEEPIN* SAILOR SCOUT (shakes with fear)

J: No, that's my friend, Christa-chan. (mutters) How did she get an A average all year?

C: GO JEDITE

('Hail To the Victors' music starts to play and confetti magically appears in the air)

JE (paling quite noticeably): Are you positive she's not a Sailor Scout?

J: Don't mind her. She's just really happy that our 'favorite' (gag) teachers mysteriously were burnt into Crispy Chicken wings and were sold as KFC popcorn chicken.

C: A 99 cent special!

JE: Oh. So, where is Sailor Moon: She challenged me to a fight.

(starts to have a seizure)

J: Well... Christa-chan wrote a fake note to you, too.

JE (seizure stops): Thank God Almighty! (sweat-drops a very large sweat-drop) Err... Too bad I couldn't blast that meatball headed freak into Nega-space where she belongs and give the Negaverse their 'much' needed hour of glory.

J: Kawaii! So, Jedite (sigh), thousands of people in the web say that they really like Zoicite or Kunzite, but very few seem to like you. What's up with that?

JE (enraged): Because they are writing stories about me with that *BEEPIN* *BEEP*, Nephrite!

J: Miracle! We are getting an interview, Houston! So, Jedite, were you really engaged to Sailor Mars during the Silver Millennium?

JE (turns beat red): Don't mention that name! I hate that girl's guts! (mutters) Hopefully, they bought that.

J: What was that?

JE (turns an unknown shade of red): I didn't say anything (stares at his engagement ring that he is trying to hide)

J: So all those romantic (gag) stories about you and her are all lies?

JE: Um...err... *BEEP* Stop prying into my personal life.

J (grins evilly): That's why I'm here.

JE: *BEEP* OFF!

Z: No, this conversation is getting 'very' interesting, Jedite. Tell me more, please!

J: Who's there? Christa-chan, get the lights!

Z: No, we ripped out her vocal cords. She was getting annoying.

J: Return them to her at once, who ever you are!

Z: *BEEP* You never let us have any fun! (a few seconds later, a scream sounds through the room that makes Serena sound calm and serene)

J: Wait, I changed my mind. Yank 'um out again!

C: Jade! That's gonna hurt, damn it!

ML: Hey, Godo, what happened to the censors?

MG: Sorry (presses button and loud Quack is heard) Opps, wrong button. I gotta learn how to use a computer one of these days!

ML: Godo, how stupid are you? (pushes another button and an even louder Moo is heard.)

C: Ugh, let me do it! (presses button and the *BEEP* is heard instead of the many choices of words the two teachers are using)

K: Shut the *QUACK* err... *MOO* err... *SQUAWK* err... COME ON! (Both Mr. Lemley and Mr. Godo cower in fear to K's presence) Now, where was I? Oh yes, SHUT THE (waits a moment) *BEEP* UP!

(Blasts them both. Everyone in the room stares at the two legs of Original Chicken in KFC buckets)

J: Oh my God! You chickenized Godo!

C: Oh my God! You chickenized Lemley!

Z: Celebrate good times, come on!

(Everyone begins to do disco)

J: I know this is too good to last *BEEP* Huh? Why am I still being censored? (Notices the legs punching the beep button)

K: Can you introduce us now?

C: Who are you? I don't recognize your face.

K: Bruhaha! You are pathetic! Your show is awful! That's what you get when you don't interview us first!

J: Oh no! Oh gasp! Oh shock! Oh pant! OH..

Z: Just get on with it!

J: Meenies! It's *BEEP* and *BEEP*!

Z: BEEP and BEEP? We're not BEEP and BEEP! We are *BEEP* and *BEEP*! What the *BEEP*?

C: That's why I didn't recognize you! You two are too *BEEPISH!*

K: OK! What did you do to our names? (notices legs punching the buttons furiously)

J: Well, think of all the things that you did! Our leg censors must think that you are way too evil. That's why they blocked out your names!

JE: I'm just glad I'M not censored out!

J: (gets major heart eyes) That's because you're too sweet!

JE: (whines) But I don't wanna be sweet! I wanna be cruel, mean, and vicious!

J: That's nice, you little sweetie you. Christa-chan?

C: MUMH!

K: We tied her up!

J: Then let her go!

Z: But I wanted to torture her!

J: NO torturing the producer! I would allow it, but it's against all rules in the rule book. Let her go, or I'll never interview you!

JE: Speaking of interviews, what happened to mine?

Z: You're canceled! (Throws ball of energy at Jedite)

JE: (Jumps up) *BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP!* (encased in crystal)

C: (Gives thumbs up to Mr. Godo and Mr. Lemley, who have mysteriously turned back into humans)

J: Spiffy special effects! Now, let Christa-chan go!

Z: I refuse.

J: Why you! (Dives at *Beep* and tries to beat the *Beep* out of him) Let go of Christa-chan! You had your fun!

Z: No I didn't! Err...*Beep*-sama! Save me from the host!

J: Bruhaha! What's the matter? Pretty-boy never learn how to fight? I thought you taught the great sword fighter Evil Prince Endymion!

Z: No, the guy that did the sword fighting really was a stunt double.

C: WHY YOU S.O.*BEEP*! (breaks bonds and beats the *BEEP* out of him)

Z: UGH! (forms ice crystal)

K: Uh...is this still live?

C (looks up from the remains of *Beep*): YES!

K: Um..um...ha...haha...hahaha...that's all the time that Jade has for today. Come back next week for Jade's next failing attempt....err....interview with Nephrite. Bye! (Waves, then dives toward Christa-chan and Jade.)

N: This story was written in front of a live studio audience. Hey, how come I only have one line? Rebellion! (jumps into fight)

ML and MG: Hey, stop turning us into Crispy Chicken! We wanna be in the Kid's Meals with the Lil' Pokemon! (dives into fight as well)

(Pikachu walks on the seen)

P: Pika? Pika? Pika? PIKACHU! (translation: I wouldn't want to be in the same meal with them!*THUNDERSHOCK!!*)

(Everyone goes flying)

J and C: Looks like Jade and Christa-chan go blasting off again! (Team Rocket comes in)

TR: Hey, that's our line!

C: Prove it!

TR: We say it every time we fail!

J: Whatever, we got another interview to write!(TR jumps up and down)

TR: Do us! Do us!

C: Sorry, but you're not evil enough.

(K regains consciousness)

K (embarrassed): Shut up! (Blasts Team Rocket)

TR: Looks like Team Rocket' blasting off again! (sticks out tongue) SEE!

(falls)

(K glances at screen)

K: Don't tell me they recorded all that!

C (smiling): YEP!

K: *BEEP!* (ML and MG are still controlling censor buttons)

C: Since we're gonna be up here awhile, let's sing a song! (Yells) 1 million bottles of nonalcoholic beverage on the wall...

K: UGH! (blasts camera and everything turns to black)

The End (Finally)


Back to Dark Kingdom Home | Stayka's Dark Kingdom Stories | Other Dark Kingdom Stories


This page belongs to Stayka's Dark Kingdom Home at http://www.dark-kingdom.de

© by Sailor Jade - Email: dearings@eaglequest.com


Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!