Saint Seiya Big Brother!

© 2000 by Arythar McShido

This page was last modified: 2000/10/04

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Day 1 - Seiya admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Shunrei. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Shaina is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Ikki later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.

Day 2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Shiryu creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Miho hits him with a Cosmo.

Day 3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Sanctuary out of Sushi. After much persuasion by Shiryu, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.

Day 4 - Training for the Sanctuary task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Ikki, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the Sushi. Miho is furious.

Day 5 - Today is the day when the Sanctuary task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Ikki farts and blows Sanctuary over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Shunrei cries.

Day 6 - Shiryu gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.

Day 7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Shunrei admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a Cosmo. Seiya says he never wears condoms because they make his Butt sore and Shiryu agrees. Shaina goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Ikki sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Shiryu.

Day 8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Seiya goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Miho and Shunrei are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Seiya.

Day 9 - Miho and Shunrei are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Shaina sings them a song - I wanna rock you baby - to make them feel better.

Day 10 - The public vote Shunrei out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Shunrei leaves.

Day 11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Shunrei's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Shaina has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Miho is visibly depressed and is comforted by Shiryu, who tries to touch her on her Breast.

Day 12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Shiryu touching Miho's Breast over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.

Day 13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Ikki refuses to run because his Butt hurts a bit.

Day 14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Ikki finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Miho calls Ikki a lazy Butt.

Day 15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Seiya tells everyone individually that he thinks Miho is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Miho and Shiryu are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Seiya.

Day 16 - The nominations are announced. Miho can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Shiryu is equally stunned and turns to Miho for comfort. Ikki is distraught and confesses to Shaina that he thinks he is in love with Shiryu. Shaina says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know

Day 17 - The public vote Shiryu out of the house. Miho says she is gutted and even gives Shiryu a clipping of hair from her Breast to prove how much she cares. Ikki is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Shiryu leaves.

Day 18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Miho clipping the hair from her Breast. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.

Day 19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Greece in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.

Day 20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Greece sounds like but Ikki says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Seiya as the one who must complete the task.

Day 21 - Seiya successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Greece but also God Save The Queen, I wanna rock you baby and the theme tune to Saint Seiya. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.

Day 22 - Nominations are due and Seiya tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Ikki and Shaina are nominated.

Day 23 - Ikki and Shaina take their nominations well and sit down with Seiya and Miho to discuss why they voted for them. Seiya keeps quiet but Miho accuses Ikki of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred Butt before bursting into tears.

Day 24 - The public vote Shaina out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. Shaina leaves.

Day 25 - Seiya becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Seiya's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.

Day 26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Dragon dung using only a Cosmo. Seiya is unsure but Ikki is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.

Day 27 - Completely out of the blue, Ikki breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Dragon incident from his childhood. Miho tries to persuade him to stay but Seiya sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Ikki decides to leave.

Day 28 - With only two housemates remaining, the Dragon dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Miho from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.

Day 29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Seiya asks Miho to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Seiya nominates Miho to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Miho.

Day 30 - When the nomination is announced, Miho graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Seiya is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Seiya takes his 70,000 and runs away to Greece. Nobody, including Miho, ever sees him again.



This text was created with the Big Brother generator from The Site With No Name at

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