The Zeus Chapter

© 2000 by Torquemada

"XX Century Hoax"

proudly presents:

"Hades is not enough", or "Seiya never dies"

(The script of the Zeus Chapter, that is perfect for Toei animators to avoid at any cost).

This page was last modified: 2000/12/04

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Chapter 2

Wake up, Gold Saints! You overslept this morning already.

Author's Note:

Dedicated to my dear comrade Pollux for her support and several great humorous insights used here. >;-)

"I will take away your six senses, traitor!" Shaka addressed Saga, haughtily as always. All Saints were already decent and estimated the situation, so they returned to their favorite occupation, which was annoying and insulting each other.

"What? I can't hear you!" Saga shouted loudly, causing Shaka to frown painfully, and took his helmet off. "Could you repeat now, please?"

"I suppose 5 will be enough if you will leave your helmet on," Shaka muttered.

"Men, men... stop fighting, please? We are all in the same situation, and fighting will bring no good for us. It would be better for all of us to keep together, and in peace. Thus we would have more chances to think on way to escape this place." That was Aphrodite, one of nature's mediators.

"Leave Saga alone, you Barbie doll with broken eyes mechanism!" snarled Milo.

"What did you call me?" Shaka inquired softly and amiably.

"It seems you are extremely popular among men, aren't you, Saga?"

The evil sniggering of Deathmask reached the opposite result it was aimed to cause, because to spite Deathmask, Saga fought his irritation, calmed down and decided against ripping the heads off Shaka and Milo, who were now standing nose to nose like two billy goats on the fight, and Aphrodite.

"Milo, for the thousandth time this day I am telling you - it was not me who had this little affair with you before this war, alright? I was possessed, and Shaka, please remember that, too. And Aphrodite - stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like that!" Aphrodite sighed. He (or should we say 'she'?) still was attracted by the former containment of her (his?) husband's entity. They had had quite a lot of pleasant moments in Sanctuary, and the fact they both were in men's bodies, didn't confuse them at all. On the contrary, Aphrodite gained a number of new insights and a sea of new sensations.

"Anyway, Aphrodite is not totally wrong, I must admit. We really must think on cooperating and getting out of here."

"Oh, really? Who died and appointed you an Army General?" Deathmask sneered.

"What do you want, Deathmask? It is not you who would have the right to command anyway. I have the skill to be a leader - and nobody says anything on that, hear me? I already listened to your reproaches all the time from our awakening on. What about leading... well, right, if you insist so much, I can pass the right to the elder, which is Dohko and... er... by the way, where is Shion?"

The Twelve looked around, but Shion was nowhere to be seen.

"Neither skills nor wish to take responsibility have I." Thus spoke Dohko, and it cost the other Saints some efforts to understand what he was saying. Apparently, even though Dohko's body had returned to its young version, some results of his senile marasmus seemed to be irrecoverable. "If took it Saga, let be it. Natural leader he is; and no more say, Deathmask!"

"Not that I was going to..." Deathmask, who really didn't care about leadership at all, grumbled. But - in his point of view - if one was able to create a mess, the chance shouldn't be wasted.

"Then the problem of the temporary leader is solved." Saga stated. "Now, which direction do you suggest to follow?"

"That one!" Eleven fingers pointed in eleven different directions.

Saga sighed.

"You guys never change, do you?"

An hour of debates brought only another hardly extinguished conflict between Shaka and Milo and a headache for Saga.

"A lot can draw we?" suggested Dohko, when finally all were to tired to argue.

And finally, the little squad got onto their feet and moved.

Hours (or whatever time units. There was nothing in this place that indicated any time) passed. Deathmask passed water several times, loudly demanding all to turn over and accusing Shaka for trying to peek.

Saga wearily decided it all was caused with the only purpose to annoy them (and he was of course right - since there was nothing to drink, hence nothing to pass, either), but it was exactly Deathmask who finally saw something unusual.

"Stop! I think I see something!"

Nobody believed him.

"No, this time really!" Deathmask decided he was sometimes overdoing a bit with his pranks.

"Where? I can see nothing," Shaka said.

Deathmask looked at Shaka's closed eyes with amusement, stuck his tongue out at him to make sure and pointed into the proper direction.

"He's right. I see something, too," Mu said.

When after yet another quantity of time units the Twelve reached that something, it appeared to be a door, standing in the middle of the field. Quite a simple and ordinary door, if one skipped the puny detail that simple ordinary doors seldom stood all alone in the middle of a field.

"Do you all see what I see?" Saga finally managed to ask, after they had spent a little bit of time staring at the door.

"It depends. If you see, say, a pink elephant with gauzy blue wings, then the answer is definitely 'no'." It was, of course, Deathmask.

"Ah, stop it, Deathmask, it gets boring, you know..." Aphrodite circled the door. "Hey! It disappears, looking from this side!"

"Of course. It's a unidimensional door, after all." Saga grabbed the doorhandle.


"This is a door that binds different dimensions," Saga explained.

"Can we go through?" asked Milo.

Saga opened the door. The view in the doorframe differed slightly from the roundabouts. For starters, it was dark there.

"I think, yes..." Saga poked his head inside.

The head disappeared.

"Ack!!!" squeaked Aphrodite.

"What?" Saga backed off, and his head seemed to be where it had to be again. Yet, Aphrodite categorically insisted on a thorough examination, to the great annoyance of Saga, jealousy of Milo and joy of Deathmask.

"So, Saga, can we go through?" Milo repeated.

"Yes, but..."

"Hurray, we are free, we are leaving this damn place!"

"I said 'but', Milo! There's always a possibility that the neighbour dimension is dangerous. So I suppose we should go scouting at first."

"Sounds very reasonable," Deathmask approved, "and it's twice unexpected that it was you who suggested that."

Saga pretended he didn't hear.

"I should go there myself, as I'm an advanced dimensional user. Any volunteers to accompany me?"

"I!" shouted Milo and Aphrodite in unison. Deathmask sniggered.

"Rejected! Any other volunteers?"

"I can go." Shura, who kept silence all the time, suddenly gave voice.

"Well, I can go, too, if you don't mind. I have some skills," Aiolia offered. Saga thought on the candidates. He never had anything against Shura, the man seemed to be dependable, but what about Aiolia...? Well, even though he might still bear some revengeful thoughts considering the little accident with mind control, his company was definitely better than Milo's or Aphrodite's, and besides, nobody else volunteered.

"Right, then. Shall we go?" The three scouts disappeared in the framed darkness.

After some time units they returned, silent and gloomy, and sat down around the fire that the Saints, who remained in this dimension, had set. Not that they felt cold, but it seemed like the proper thing to do in waiting.

The other Saints stared at them with great interest. This was not surprising, because Aiolia with a black eye, Saga with a broken nose and Shura with a smashed lip were not the usual everyday entertainment. Plus, they didn't have their helmets anymore, and the overall impression of the scouts was that they were thoroughly battered and trashed.

After yet a few more time units of silence, Saga said:

"We can no way go there. Definitely. It's too damn dangerous."

"Yeah." Aiolia added, and Shura just nodded.

"What happened?" asked Aphrodite.

"We were attacked. By a huge, enormous horde of cruel barbarians. We were fighting like lions, slaying most of them, but we were totally outmatched. Even our Cosmo could do nothing. There were just too many of them, a whole army!"

"Duh, what? But..." Shura began and added "Ouch!", because Aiolia, invisible for the others, nudged him into the ribs. "Oh yes, that's how it has been. Exactly. And even our armours didn't work properly there." Indeed, the Cloths looked severely damaged.

"Want me to fix them?" Mu offered, cheerfully.

"No!" The answer was firm and unite.

"As you wish..." Mu shrugged in disappointment.

The unusual peace continued, while the flames of the fire were crackling soothingly.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the neighbourhood dimension...

A little fire in the night. And a friendly company around it: two men and a dog, a tiny white mongrel.

"Will you ever stop collecting these silly helmets, Obelix? On my word, this gets annoying." This was said by a short blond man with a winged helmet on his head.

"Why, Asterix? It is not as if my little hobby causes harm to anyone." His friend, a huge fat man with pants striped in white and blue, said in a slightly hurt voice. Then he took a golden helmet with long horns on it, and examined it critically. "They now copy our helmet fashion, yet they can't do it properly anyway!" And finished in his usual manner: "These Romans are crazy."

End of Chapter 2 -- Go to Chapter 3

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