The Zeus Chapter

© 2001 by Torquemada

"XX Century Hoax"

proudly presents:

"Hades is not enough", or "Seiya never dies"

(The script of the Zeus Chapter, that is perfect for Toei animators to avoid at any cost).

This page was last modified: 2001/05/07

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Author's Note:

When I was spell-checking this chapter after I'd written and typed it, I noticed it got somewhat linked with Natsumi's doujinshi "Spa Rhapsody". I assure that this happened absolutely unintentionally -- although this does not mean I have anything against it. Thanks a lot, Natsumi, for this subconscious inspiration. ;-)

Chapter 6

The Emotional Reunion! Misery is no doubt an emotion, too.

"What a marvellous feeling -- finally, to get a life!" Seiya sighed in delight. The Bronze Saints, now four, enjoyed the pleasure of relaxation in the famous Sanctuary Spa.

After Seiya had returned to Earth, he went directly to Kido mansion to confirm that the things he heard from June were true, and he discovered Ikki, Hyoga and Shun there who were about to leave.

The three Bronze Saints -- after the first shock passed away, the source of the curses and filthy names, by which men usually express their joy and happiness of meeting after long time no see, dried; and flabbergasted Shun, who thought it was Saori coming back, was soothed -- verified that the gossip was indeed true. Without much regrets, the Bronze Saints closed this finished -- as they hoped -- period of their life and started to make plans about their future.

The first question that arose 'What shall we do now?' was considered to be too abstract and put into the locker for better times. The question 'Where to live?' was more urgent at the given moment.

The Sanctuary was the only place they all knew well, and without the Gold Saints it was even appealing. So the Saints locked Kido mansion, hid the key under the front door's carpet and went away for good.

Unanimously, the Pope's house was chosen, because it alone had all the necessary comfort thingies (in the Temples, even if they had suitable premises, they were smartly hidden), and the Spa was the most luxurious amongst all, so directly after their arrival, the Bronze Four started to test it's capabilities. Since Ikki already had been there before, the proud title of Spa instructor was assigned to him.

"Here," Ikki held a small remote control, "is another proof of how spoiled our Bosses are secretly."

He pushed one button. Twelve big screens popped up in front of the Spa, each showing one of the Temples. Ikki pushed another -- and the room was immediately filled with singing birds, humming wind and other sounds of nature.

"Moreover," yet another button was pushed, and the view of the Cancer Temple zoomed in significantly, "it seems that our dear Pope Saga had a full installment for his neat little vices. There is some red button, which I haven't tested yet, and which probably means either 'Blow the Temple to all buggers', or 'Record'. If 'Record', I'd really like to find his collection of videos, don't you agree, lads?"

"Nah," Hyoga shrugged indifferently. "Your imagination has developed too well, Ikki. I am sure that even if you found any records, there would only be Mu polishing armours, Aphrodite gardening his roses and Shaka sleeping. They just did not have any life, these Gold Saints."

"Whatever," Ikki was not convinced but in too good and lazy mood to argue. "Lets turn it off anyway. I've had enough of this view of lousy architecture in real. There's no need to be haunted by it even in the bathroom."

He started to turn the screens off. When he was going to press the last button, 'Mute', suddenly one could hear a strange whizzing sound - and immediately, the room filled with the loud humming of voices, all talking at the same time.

"Home, sweet home..."

"One, two, three...ten. Two are missing!"

"Have you counted yourself in, Saga?"

"'s missing then, anyway....Camus? Where's Camus, Deathmask?"

"Why do you ask me? It was you who had to teleport him!"

"No way, I took Aldebaran and Shura! Mu?"

"He was not mine, mine are all here. Deathmask...?"

"Alright, alright, I am coming back...why is it always me?"

"Damn! Who the hell created that horrible mess in my temple?"

"Don't call Hell upon us, Shaka. Haven't you had enough?"

"Aldebaran, darling... so big and so superstitious. Shame on you."

The Bronze Four listened and refused to believe their ears.

"Oh no... they are back! The bedlam crew is back!" Shun sobbed and hid his face on Ikki's shoulder.

"Oh yes..." Ikki smirked, viciously.

"Good day, boys," Saga materialized very casually in the room. "Ah, I see you've prepared the Spa. Goody, goody...longed for us, did you? Mind if I join in?" He commanded his Cloth to leave and fold itself without waiting for an invitation. "Water's not too hot, no? For Shun went all red somewhy..."

He jumped into the Spa with a loud splash and a contented moan. " I dreamed about this moment there in Hades..."

"See?" Seiya whispered, silently, to Hyoga. "I told you he wears nothing under his armour. Now, do you still call me a freaking liar?"

"So, guys," Saga stretched himself comfortably, "What has happened here during our absence? A bottle of wine for a story."

In brief words, the Bronze Four introduced the situation.

"I what does that mean -- that I am an unemployed now?" Saga went on thoughtfully. "And this idea is not that bad..."

"Blow this for a lark," the voice came from behind of the Spa. All bathing Saints turned their heads to the figure standing at the room's backdoor.

"Shion? Oh hello, Boss," Saga said, with a hint of disappointed surprise. "Now where do you come from? We missed you there in Hell... Oh, I did not mean exactly 'you in Hell', you know..."

"Explanations later," Shion cut, approaching the Spa. "Now, let me point out the fact that you are still my subordinate, and have to do what I tell you. That's me who's unemployed, but I'll think about it later." His look slipped to the Spa, and he frowned in aversion. "What a horrible crowd in my Spa! What do you think, is this some public thermae or what?"

"Just don't you begin with that again, Shion," Saga said wearily. "Remember what happened the last time you tried to keep the Spa all for yourself?"

"I do," Shion answered offended, and decided to join the bathing company after some hesitation. "Nobody can say I do not learn from my mistakes."

"Ah, you guys are already here!" Aphrodite chimed, entering the room. "And I thought I would be the only one who is so smart. Whatever, this way it's far more fun!"

He called his armour off and gasped sadly: "Ouch, nasty Cerberus ripped my tights! Good that I am finally at home. I really cannot show myself in public with torn tights."

He freed himself of the aforesaid part of clothing and, smiling coyly, he jumped into the spa.

"I should set up a schedule," Shion muttered.


"Nothing. I was just thinking loudly what to do with the Bronze Saints. As higher rank employees and otherwise moral people we must take care of these children, right?"

"Right!" Aphrodite nodded, enthusiastically.

"Oh no, no, please don't worry about us!" Seiya said hotly. "We are able to take care of ourselves, really."

"I'm sure you can, but here I'm the Boss, hence I decide," Shion stated. "Now, the accommodation. My house is mine again, so it means that you, Saga, will go back to Gemini temple -- no whining! It seems as if all of the houses are occupied."

"I can accept a tenant or two," Aphrodite said and shot a sensual glance towards Shun, who was desperately trying to hide behind Ikki and turn invisible.

"I said please do not worry about us! Please? Thank you," Seiya ventured again.

"Well, if Dohko goes back to Five Old Peaks, and I am sure he does," Shion was not listening, "then Libra House will be free. I think we can allow you live in there for some time, until we'll decide what to do about you."

Seiya remembered the huge, dark and draughty Temple, thought about Shaka and Milo as closest neighbors and felt a strong wish to dive underwater and hold his breath until the logical end. Now, even the company of Persephone seemed pleasant and desirable.

By the looks of the other Bronzies, they were sharing his ideas.

The poor Bronze Four wer outmatched, trapped and could only wait what the naughty prankster Fate with her bad sense of humor prepared for them next.

* * *

"So, Athena's Saints are all back -- so it does not seem it worked at all, Hermes." Zeus leant forward and turned Earth Monitor (tm) off. "What do you say about that, may I inquire?"

"Well, er," Hermes quavered. "But the plan is not accomplished yet, Your Thunderousity. You see, now there are the pawns on one side -- call them white -- but we still have nothing from your brother's -- call them blue -- pawns. Besides, I even have an ace up my sleeve. Ther's a person of exactly that type, who is able to turn things going screamingly wrong everywhere he shows up. I am sure he will succeed in creating a comfy and useful little chaos for us."

"Oh? And who might that be?"

End of Chapter 6 -- Go to Chapter 7

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