Remember - Sadness

© 2000/08/08 by Stayka deyAvemta

Death seems to follow wherever I go
It is the fate of Saints, surely I know
But there are deaths that go deeper for sure
Such as friends dying, a pain without cure

It all began long ago in the past
I was a small child, my mother died fast
But still I wonder why she had to drown
Or was it not fate that our ship went down?

There's a sinister suspicion that gnaws
Telling me that there were no divine laws
Governing her demise, but cold decree
That of all mortal ties I was cut free

Certainly mama had never allowed
That I was turned into Saint, there's no doubt
But so I was sent to train in the ice
None of them caring who lives or who dies

When I met Isaac I found a true friend
Or so I thought as I guessed not the end
Training on the wide Siberian plains
Surviving the freezing cold and our pains

Then one day I was caught under the sea
Isaac gave his live while rescuing me
First I thought I should follow him down there
Yet I knew I'd to live if I did care

Or I would waste his choice when he saved me
Exchanging his live for mine willingly
Still there were times when I wished I had died
And not him who was whirled into the night

Many times I felt my Master's cold glare
Telling me 'twas my fault Isaac died there
All I could do was striving to excel
But still my Master blamed me, I could tell

Not even was he there when I attained
My Holy Cloth and became Cygnus Saint
Only when in the great battle we met
It was I realized he never let

Me get so close not to be hurt again
But all the greater was then our pain
When we fell down beaten by coldest ice
While our hearts thawed, tears stained our eyes

Still am I wondering why she saved me
And not my Master, too, despite my plea
Does this mean causing such deaths is my fate?
All of my loved ones, my sorrow's so great

Then in the war with the God of the Sea
Isaac returned alive, as enemy
Saved by Poseidon, he fought for his side
I was his foe now he fought with his might

I had no choice but to battle him true
Merciless was the fight, I couldn't do
Anything to spare his life in the end
And so I was doomed to kill my old friend

Looking back at my life I wonder why
All the ones close to me had but to die
Worst of all - who killed them was none but me
What did I do to live such destiny?

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